The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states...
The police arrested my daughter claiming she had burnt our house down.
A cannibal in Northern Germany is arrested while grilling beef patties.
He is accused of eating both hamburgers and Hamburgers.
Why was the musician arrested?
The world tongue twister champion just got arrested.
I heard they're going to give him a really tough sentence...
Why would a member of The Muppets be arrested?
Back in 56' my neighbor was arrested for supporting the USSR...
The officials said it was "a big red flag".
Why was the tree arrested
Officer: You’re under arrest for stealing the Wikipedia servers...
Me: But officer, I can explain everything!
After 6 cardiac arrests the doctor convinced me to go for surgery!
I really needed that change of heart!
I got arrested for stealing a calendar
Doctor arrested for theft. He checked the purse of his patient.
I was arrested for having jello in the shape of a gun in my bag
The officers charged me for having a congealed weapon
As the detective examined the crime scene at the carnival he came upon the man working the “Guess your weight” booth. The detective had the man arrested as an accomplice to the criminal.
He was charged with helping the criminal get a weigh.
The police arrested me for being a helium balloon.
They held me for a while but eventually let me go.
Why did the police officer arrest a duck?
The duck was selling quack
Two guys were arrested for stealing a single calendar
They both got six months.
Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia.
Man: Wait! I can explain everything.
Did you hear about the teddy who got arrested for public indecency?
Why was the chef arrested?
He was caught beating an egg.
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.
But she still won't admit she framed me.
My neighbor just got arrested for illegally growing Marijuana.
Turns out my property line is not as far as I thought it was.
Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?
He was charged with battery
what was the veterinary arrested for
Why did the flash light get arrested?...
.
.
.
.
For public flashing.
Why were the guest performers arrested after the concert?
Because they stole the show.
Three musicians were arrested
Why was the farmer arrested at the gym ?
He was destroying his calves
Why did the conductor get arrested at the protest?
For trying to incite violins
I was arrested earlier for stealing helium balloons.
The cops held me for a while, then let go .
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Why did the coffee get arrested?
Someone called the cups.
They took his mug shot.
Local barber in the area got arrested for selling drugs.
Blew my mind. I’ve been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.
I got arrested for dumping ice under the overpass last night. I thought they would have let me go this morning.
Surely it's just water under the bridge by now?
Why can you get arrested if you tell Optimus Prime a joke?
Vehicular man’s laughter.
What did the carpenter say as they were being arrested?
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after breaking his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
Goddamn those big game hunters
The president of the National Referees Association has been arrested for corruption.
Investigators haven't released the name of the whistle-blower.
What bird a cop can arrest?
The police arrested my daughter claiming she had burnt our house down.
The police arrested water because it was wanted in three states
The Energizer Bunny was arrested...
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