Did you hear about the Uber driver that never had a customer?

He worked 3 weeks and nothing to chauffeur it.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elster000
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
People keep saying Trump had planned a coup but...

I considered him more of a sedan-guy with a chauffeur.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quisenburg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
If the female lead of Good Will Hunting hired a little person to chauffeur her in an iconic British car

He’d be Minnie Driver’s mini Mini Driver.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the taxidriver say, when he lost his Will to do his Job?

Please end My Chauffeuring!

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My new chauffeur refuses to use straight roads...

He's driving me 'round the bend

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend just hired a limo for $1000 but it didn't come with a driver.

Imagine spending all that money with nothing to chauffeur it!

πŸ‘︎ 122
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ATX_Stig
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Just spent $300 on a limousine and discovered that the fee doesn't include a driver.

Can't believe I've spent all that money and I have nothing to chauffeur it...

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A judge recently sentenced a geologist's chauffeur to prison...

He was found guilty of trafficking miners.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/guydoingthings
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2017
🚨︎ report
The Worst Chauffeur

I work dispatch for an executive transportation company. The owner's name Is Matt. While talking to one of the chauffeurs, Matt's name prompted this.

You know what they call a guy with no arms, no legs and is lying next to a door? Matt.

He continues... Same guy is sitting in a pothole, what do you call him? Phil. And if he's in the swimming pool, we call him Bob. Put him up on the wall and his name is Art. Hang two of him on the wall and we call them Kurt and Rod!

I couldn't bring myself to respond. It was too brilliant.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pearberr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2014
🚨︎ report
My friend has been a limo driver for 25 years and hasn’t had a single customer…

All that time and nothing to chauffeur it…

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2017
🚨︎ report
I paid off my new limousine up front, but now I can't afford to hire a driver. So much money spent.

And nothing to chauffeur it.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My son finally has his licence!

It took a while but don’t give up. All those driving lessons in all kinds of weather, late at night, early morning. Gritted teeth and white knuckles at near misses, all payed off.

So to celebrate we bought a new car.

It's nice after all that work to finally have something to chauffeur it.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/midget_clown
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I just bought a vintage Rolls Royce, but the budget didn't cover a driver.

So I spent all that money, and I've got nothing to chauffeur it.

πŸ‘︎ 81
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Reg182
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2017
🚨︎ report
My best friend has been a Lyft driver for 4 years and hasn’t gotten one single ride

All that time and nothing to chauffeur it

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
🚨︎ report
The production staff of Car Talk at NPR
  • Accounts Payable Administrator_______________Imelda Czechs

  • Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office__________Dasha Chekhov

  • Air-Quality Monitor _________________________Carmine Dioxide

  • Caffeine Addiction Counselor__________________Bruno Moore

  • Chief Legal Counsel_________________________ Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe

  • Cliche Monitor_____________________________Saul Wellingood

  • Clothing Designer__________________________Hugh Jass

  • Credit Counselor___________________________Max Stout

  • Director of Purchasing_______________________Lois Bidder

  • Director of Pavlovian Research________________Isabelle Ringing

  • Divorce Attorney___________________________Carmine Nottyors

  • Dog Trainer_______________________________Don Chase Katz

  • Ebay Specialist____________________________Selma Junkoff

  • Head of Security___________________________Barb Dwyer

  • Global Economics Forecaster_________________Helena Handbasket

  • Marine Biologist___________________________Frieda Wales

  • Father-in-Law Liaison_______________________Royal Payne Diaz

  • Mother-in-Law Liaison______________________Stella Payne Diaz

  • Official Spokesperson_______________________Howie Vasive

  • Restroom Attendants_______________________Trudy Door & Donna Hall

  • Russian Chauffeur__________________________Picov Andropov

  • Scout Leader______________________________Lawson D. Woods

  • Shop Foreman_____________________________Luke Bizzy

  • Staff Intuitionist____________________________Ivan Inkling

  • Used Car Salesman_________________________Alexis Itznot

Full list can be found here: http://www.cartalk.com/content/staff-credits

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IcedPyro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2016
🚨︎ report
Why was the professional driver unhappy with his long-term career?

In the end, he didn't have anything to chauffeur it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/otacon239
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2016
🚨︎ report
My dad's taxi rank ripper

So last week, my family was returning home on a plane flight, and because we had a lot of luggage, my parents decided to take a taxi. Well, we'd been waiting at the taxi rank for a while, and my dad exclaims: "We've been waiting here ten minutes, and what have we got to chauffeur it?" Groans were had.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deltalessthanzero
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2014
🚨︎ report
Meet the Jack of all dadjokes!

I was asked to help chauffeur a carload of youth around town for a Christmas caroling activity last night. One of the names on the list was Jack, who lost his wife earlier this year. Jack is in his early 90's, stands about 5'2, and is quite possibly the king of all dad jokes.

So, the group of about 25 kids and 5 adults sneak up to his doorstep and begin singing a few short Christmas carols. Eventually, he opens the door and is thrilled to have visitors.

After we are finished singing and the kids are all running back to the vehicles to get out of the 15 degree weather, jack steps out of his doorway and on to his porch. He is wearing a light t-shirt and pajama pants... he was setting us up, and we took the bait, hook, line, and sinker.

Woman: Are you freezing?

Jack: No, I'm not freezing, I'm Jack (pause for laughter)

Jack: but if you hang on for just a minute, I can get freezing for you.

and then he just stood there smiling at us. It was precious. Come to find out, Jack is entering a retirement home in a few days because he is getting to the point that it is hard to take care of himself anymore.

Oh boy, those nurses are in for a treat once Jack gets settled in.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Happyazz84
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2013
🚨︎ report
Got some coworkers good today

So I just got to Panama City today on business. I'm traveling with 6 other coworkers, and we had a chauffeur pick us up from the airport in his van. There was room for all of us to sit; however there was no room inside the van for all our luggage. The driver decides to store all the luggage on top of the van - only problem is this is Central America and it rains A LOT. One of my coworkers said "I really hope it doesn't rain with all our luggage on top of the van". To which I replied, "Yeah, that would really put a damper on our trip". Needless to say I got a few pity laughs :)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rambo2189
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2015
🚨︎ report
My friend just hired a limo for a $1000 but it didn't come with a driver !

Imagine spending all that money and having nothing to chauffeur it

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I've been a limo driver for 25 years and haven’t had a single customer.

All that time and nothing to chauffeur it...

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Just spent $300 dollars on a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver......

Cant believe i just spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.

πŸ‘︎ 202
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phyzix1981
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I spent $300 on a limo and it didn't even come with a driver.

I spent all my money and I've got nothing to chauffeur it!

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MattAmoroso
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend has been a limo driver for 25 years and hasn’t had a single customer.

All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrNakamura
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Spent $400 on a limo, but I didn't get a driver for it.

All that money, and nothing to chauffeur it.

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/peedeous
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Spent $300 on a limo and it didn't even come with a driver.

After spending all that money, I've got nothing to chauffeur it.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dangoodspeed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.