She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beerโฆ.
EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! โค๏ธ
One could say it was a sub-lime experience.
He did a lovely job of the landing.
"Yeah, I heard they were totally i-tentacle!"
I caught it, handed it back to her and she popped it in and said thank you. I didn't know what else to say...
So, we rode in silence for the rest of the trip until we got to the bar. When we arrived at the bar, she turned and asked if she could have my number. I was flattered because she was so pretty, but I told her I was happily engaged.
She smiled at me and said, "That's a shame, you really caught my eye."
Witch hat
"That's amazing" I said "how did you know to do that? Are you a vet?" "Vet?" He asked. 'of corse I'm vet. I was in zee sea"
and the first cannibal says "I killed and ate a missionary yesterday, but I think he gave me an upset stomach." The second cannibal says "That's too bad. How'd you cook him?" The first cannibal says "Oh, I threw him in the giant pot of boiling water like always." The second cannibal says "Makes sense. And what did he look like?" The first cannibal says "The usual. Brown robe, rope belt, sandals." And the second cannibal says "Well there's your problem. You boiled him, and he was a friar."
Him: "You're a pretty cool person."
Me: "Actually I'm nice and toasty. I'm wearing sweater tights and have a blanket over me!"
Him: "But where did you get the bread? ... Oh, right, you're just loafing around!"
She was saying she would HATE if she had two boys. She preferably wants two girls, but she'd survive with one boy and one girl. I, on the other hand, wouldn't mind two boys.
Her - "Dear god I hope we don't have two boys"
Me - "Hehe!"
Her - "No, it's not 'hehe'"
Me - "No, actually it is 'hehe'. It's definitely not 'sheshe'"
She wouldn't even respond
I told her they were talking trash.
My Father in law says "I knew a bloke who had a son called Edward, and then had a daughter they named Edwina".
"Why would they do that?" Asked my wife.
"Because two Ed's are better than one".
me: I just heard that physicists at CERN have a room where they hold Dick-Fights.
him: Wtf man? Seriously?
me: Yeah, they call it the Large Hardon Collider
And I said "So when does it sync?"
Dad: "When you put it in water."
Urgh.
"I've got a double entendre prepared for this; do you want me to give it to you?"
He made a lovely job of the landing.
