Dadjoked my son's friends in an online game. Nobody laughed.

Last night I was playing an online game with some of my son's friends, and one randomly texted on the in-game chat: "I just ate an apple. RAW!"

I wrote back, "That's hard core!"

Nobody laughed. At least, that I saw. :(

Edit: Holy moly, it gets mediocre response two days ago when it's posted, then it blows up over the weekend. Thanks for all the upvotes, folks! Love all the other terrible jokes & puns on here!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/akambe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2014
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I have a child, so I feel like I qualify....

Been chatting with a girl I met online... she never responded late last night and I wake up to this message this morning:

Her: Sorry! I fell asleep on you last night! Me: Weird... I didn't even feel you on me.

Anndddddd we're still talking. Score.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/margraves
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2015
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This one scared me a little...

My Dad and I chat online almost everyday, out of the blue one afternoon I get:

Dad: I came home after work last night and saw a note your Mother left on the refridgerator. "It's not working, I can't take it anymore, I've gone to stay at my Sister's!"

<long pause>

Me: ...?

Dad: I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer was cold... "WTF was she talkin about??!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reebzor
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
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My dad cares a lot about creative copyright, apparently

During a Skype chat, where my sister's profile photo was a beautiful landscape with flowers.

Dad: Did you find that photo somewhere online or did you take it?

Sister: I took it!

Dad: What! Who did you take it from? You know that's stealing, right?

Groans all around.

(bonus mediocre joke: my sister was mentioning how she writes to her friend who lives in Germany, but her friend never checks her email. "Of course she doesn't, she's German, not Czech," quoth Dad.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dorianfinch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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