I went on a few dates with a girl who works at Macy's. We chat a lot and then she sprung a weird question on me. She said, "my boss thinks you're cute and wants your number. Should I give it to her?" I told her I'd prefer to keep dating her and not her boss, but if she just wanted to be friends, then she could give her my number, which she did.
When I told this story to my dad, he said, "you could date both of them at the same time and choose the most interesting one." I said, "that sounds like that could be a reality show" and without missing a beat he said, "yeah, it could be called Macy's Date Parade."
Today I was at a Honda dealership finalizing a lease on my girlfriend's new car. The salesman was chatting us up and showed us a picture of his daughter. He says "This is my 2 year old daughter. Her name is Alexis". Without missing a beat I said "Alexis? Why didn't you name her a Honda?". Both the salesman and my girlfriend gave me the "oh no you didn't" look.
I'm chatting with my girlfriend's dad about his recent ice fishing trip when he pulls out his phone and shows me a picture of his ice fishing spot.
It is just a picture of the lake-ice with a black X spray painted onto it.
I look at him, confused at first but then I realized he was kidding with me.
I tell him that he is going to have a hard time finding it next year.
He responds "I know the ice is going to melt, that's why I took a picture"
My wife was chatting on a a Walking Dead board and mentioned a really bad dadjoke someone had made.
I said "They should do a version of that show that's full of terrible puns. They could call it 'The Walking Dad!'"
Got a groan. Appropriate, I thought.
