Chants Puns

It was a pretty bold take.

Don’t fix it if it ain’t baroque.

Au lait, au lait au lait au lait!
Au lait!
Au lait!

Sunday: Ian

Monday: Greg

Tuesday: Greg

Wednesday: Ian

Thursday: Greg

Friday: Ian

Saturday: Ian

Pre-meditate.

Just to hear the secret service chant Donald Duck.

He said he was peforming an eggcorism

They never gave me the chants.

But I never got the chants

Greg or Ian

(Context, I, Dylan, and my cousin, Will, normally play tennis together but I was playing with another kid named Ethan and my dad likes to cheer us on and calls us WD)

My dad was about to chant go ED but he didn’t want us to go soft on them

My silly om, my silly om...

(Mycelium)

All they were saying was "give pizza" chants!

Ohmmmmm.

They’re chanting “Hail Santa!”

I knew it was serious when I heard chants of “Stop Stalin and show us our Marx!”

Just being offered the chants

There was no body, arms or legs to him but he was functioning normal and his parents loved him. On his 21st birthday his dad took him to a bar, bought him a beer and gave it to him to drink. Suddenly his torso grew out of his head. Around him amazed the bar started chanting “Drink, Drink!” His dad got a second beer and gave it to him, this time he grew arms and hands. The stunned crowd all chanted again “Drink, Drink” He got his third beer and drank it himself with his new hands, suddenly legs and feet grew. The crowd applauded and cheered. The son couldn’t believe it and started to run. He ran around in circles and then out of the bar. Unfortunately he ran into the road, got hit by a truck and was killed instantly. The barman looked at his dad, sighed and said “He should have quit while he was a head”

From an email my cousin sent me:

I wanted to be a monk but I never got the chants.

I was kidnapped by mimes, they did unspeakable things to me.

The finest shoes are made of smooth leather, my opinion will never be suede.

A perfectionist walked into a bar - apparently it wasn't set high enough.

Man injured in bizarre peek-a-boo accident! He's in ICU.

Went to this horrible bar called "The Fiddle" ... it really was a vile inn.

To the thief who stole my glasses, I will find you - I have contacts.

If any of you knows how to fix hinges my door is always open.

Police car loses wheels to thief! Cops are working tirelessly to nab suspect.

Cold? Go stand in the corner, it's 90 degrees.

If your guy doesn't appreciate fresh fruit puns let that mango.

A few puns make me numb but math puns make me number.

My friend was explaining electricity and I was like "Watt"?

Someone threw a jar of mayo at me, I was like "What the hellman?"

Where did the Terminator find toilet paper? Aisle B, back.

Due to the quarantine I'll only be doing inside jokes.

After a football game the players were chanting MVP in a huddle around a player who did good the game.

He came up to me after the game and said,

"I thought they were chanting ADD not MVP. I guess I got a little distracted."

I recently posted a picture of a peaceful looking, meditating waldo with a title that reads "Plot twist. Waldo finds himself". My uncle replied with the awesome pun: "Waldo is my "om" boy!"

I need a pun to compete! Thanks for any help.

They were chanting “Au Jus will not replace us!”

They don't believe in chants.

Because they have literally no chants in Hell.

A monk sits at the peak of a hill that overlooks where the grassy Earth meets a river, the river flows with a breeze, and the breeze explores a mountain range, and the mountains neighbor the sky, and the sky conceals the entire universe, hiding the unknown in plain sight. The monk exhales "Ooooomm". He repeats this until a noise, very faint, breaks his chant.

"moo."

The monk stops for a moment but, without changing his position, dismisses it. "Ooooooommm." He begins again.

He's interrupted again, "moooo."

The monk turns to find a cow looking up at him from the bottom of the hill. "Kind cow," the monk says, "please do not interrupt my meditation."

The cow stares blankly back at the monk. The monk sighs and continues.

"Oooooommmm-"

Even louder, "Mmmooooooooo."

"Dear cow, I must reach enlightenment. Please, refrain from making your cow noises or find another hill."

The monk continues again, "Oooooooommmm-"

"MMMmmoooooooooooO!" The cow exclaims.

The monk stands up angrily, "Cow! Why must you interrupt my chanting?"

The cow replies, "Because you're saying it backwards!"

They kept chanting “FOUR MORE BEERS!”

But I never got the chants.

But I never got the chants.

I never got the chants.

But I never got the chants.

But I never got the chants.

But I never got the chants.

But I never had the chants

But I never got the chants.

But I never got the chants.

.....but I never got the chants.