It was written by Francis Near.
It’s suppose to be a romance but don’t be surprised if there’s some Fowl play.
I said, “No, running is faster.”
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
But I can Samurais
Triple HBO
Singing in the shower is all fun until soap gets in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera
Thespian Network
He was a frat buoy.
It must be in a remote location
He is calling in from the hospital with his four casts.
I've been de-Monet-tized.
I wrote a little skit for my grandkids let's see how much I remember. CHUM 8 news Ted Hammerhead reporting with sky Chompter traffic report. Top story, a lone shark, who is a loan shark is alone in the dark making loans to sharks! There is a new place to gamble, the place is full of sharks who turn out to be card sharks playing card games with sharks on the cards. Imagune the dogs playing poker for this story, but it's sharks. The other reporter asks Ted Hammerhead how he did on his recent drivers test, Ted responds "nailed it". Crime scene where a clown has been killed and the Detective states, " No way a shark did this as they taste funny". On a comment about the victim. I never did the weather or figured out names for the other reporters we used to laugh and laugh at my stupid puns.
Edit: I can't spell fixed typos
You can see it on a number of streaming channels.
My worst fears confirmed. I have Novid-19!
My mam saw a channel on the telly called the Deja Vu channel so she asked my dad what it was.
He replied with ‘I’m not sure but I swear I’ve seen it before’
He’s now pissing himself laughing and mam doesn’t get it
There's too much sax and violins.
It’s an untapped market.
So Saturday’s really are for the Boyce
That's a deal you can't turn down.
The Mike Rowe organism.
but it's paper view.
Does it make a sound?
Queen receives BJ
Joining the beautubers.
They tend to be BIOSed
I wasn’t making remotely enough.
about American Pickers.
It was in a remote location
A marathon of marathons.
The channel is called "Heavy Petting."
So my wife and eldest daughter are in the dining room and I’m in the kitchen. They are talking about parking a car at school, and getting the ticket that allows this from the office. I step into the room:
Me: “You guys are talking about a ticket to park?”
Kid: “Yeah”
Me: “But I thought Paul McCartney said it was a ticket to ride...”
Wife: “Shut up dear”
I look at the kid and point to my wife:
“She don’t care.....”
Before today this guy had 22 subscribes. Since being posted on reddit, his subscriber count is much higher. Regardless, his Dad jokes are unparalleled.
"Do you know which president had the strongest stomach muscles? Abs Lincoln."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_owbX2VkcE
Edit: Au, thanks for the gold!
Jessie is a friend,
Yeah, I know he's been a good friend of mine
But lately something's changed
It ain't hard to define
Jessie's got himself a grill and I want to make it mine
And he's grilling chicken thighs,
And he's smokin' racks of ribs, I just know it!
And he's holding pool parties late, late at night...
You know I wish that I had Jessie's grill...
I wish that I had Jessie's grill...
Where can I find a burger like that?A few years ago, we started a show that I quite frankly never thought would work.
Nearly four years later, including two sold out appearances at San Francisco Sketchfest and a local TV featurette, our show "Capitol PUNishment" is now streaming on Twitch Friday night at 8:30pm PST.
I hope it's ok to post this in here. If not, feel free to remove with no hard feelings. Just encouraging pun lovers to check out what is best described as "a fast-paced, in-the-moment spectacle that combines everything you love about gameshows, rap-battles, and "dad" jokes, into a unique and hilarious competitive format."
Our channel is twitch.tv/capitolpuns
Here's a little video to help paint the picture: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2RE9PgmfXo
But it’s paper view only.
But it’s paper view only
