12 Hilarious Cetaceans Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I saw an under-water door the other day, labeled "Actuarial Cetaceans Only"

Apparently it was strictly for insurance porpoises.

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👤︎ u/bentnotbroken96

📅︎ Feb 05 2020

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What do you say when a pile of Cetacean semen thanks you?

You're whale cum.

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👤︎ u/Mutant_Llama1

📅︎ Feb 01 2017

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Did you hear about the shark that is making friends with cetaceans?

It was tired of swimming around with no porpoise.

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👤︎ u/idholloway

📅︎ Aug 01 2017

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Why can't you put a shark in the cetacean aquarium?

Because it defeats the porpoise.

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👤︎ u/MuadLib

📅︎ Dec 13 2016

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After consulting my therapist, I went out and bought a small whale.

She told me I need a porpoise in life

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👤︎ u/Juantanamo0227

📅︎ Apr 04 2020

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Did you know that there is a severe lack of properly sourced info about whales?

[cetacean needed]

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👤︎ u/this_time_i_mean_it

📅︎ Apr 04 2020

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People get mad at me for always making marine animal puns.

I said, "Sorry, I don't do it on porpoise"

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👤︎ u/Subscribe_to_Sam24

📅︎ Feb 22 2019

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What does a dolphin say when it’s having an existential crisis?

“What is my porpoise?”

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👤︎ u/noweijose

📅︎ Sep 14 2019

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I jaywalked on the way to work this morning. A traffic cop stopped me and handed me a whale.

He said he was "giving me a cetacean for not crossing at the light."

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👤︎ u/grecianformula69

📅︎ Oct 16 2019

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A Marine Biology student was compiling a list of all the sea creatures they could find on Wikipedia. The next day they handed it in to their Professor, who took one look at it and said..

Lacks Cetacean..

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👤︎ u/Irorii

📅︎ May 07 2019

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Two scholars were peer reviewing papers about the ocean...

One turned to the other and said "There's no information about whales here."

The other responded "Ok, we'll have to make a note, 'cetacean needed.'"

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👤︎ u/Aenemius

📅︎ Mar 31 2019

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I tried to write a Wikipedia entry about whales, but I didn't have enough primary sources.

[cetacean needed]

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👤︎ u/RonPalancik

📅︎ Nov 28 2017

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