A whale is masturbating. His sperm shoots out and thanks him.

He replies " You're whale cum!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/poogart
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Who decided to name it a β€˜sperm whale’

A group of seamen

πŸ‘︎ 121
πŸ‘€︎ u/MalonesCones
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
🚨︎ report
A hammerhead shark made from hammer heads
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vermillion_-_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A play on words

Play on words: Sexually frustrated sea mammals

     I'm Russ Whale. My wife Bayleen a few months ago gave birth to our first calf, Humphrey. I convinced my mother-in-law to whale watch tonight. It's been far too long. I drop off Humphrey and head home to hook up with the wife. 

I arrive and who do I sealion there? The wife. I'm undeterred. I try my patented move, the Humpback. I get a slight groan.

Bayleen: Rus, Are you poking me in the back again?

Rus: It's on porpoise. We're alone for the first time in forever.

Bayleen: I'm so tired, I haven't got any sleep with Humphrey making me into a nurse shark. Plus you smell like ambergris.

Rus: Hamburgers?

Bayleen: Yes, hamburgers. Please go take a shower or something.

Rus: Ok.

Rus takes a quick shower and returns. Bayleen is asleep again. Rus tries the humpback maneuver again. Nothing.

Rus: Sometimes... I wish I was a sperm whale.

Rus is slightly blubbering and and all you can make outs is odd noises and maybe the word 'blowhole'. Rus cries himself to sleep.


πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dyspaereunia
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.