Does anyone have some puns that include the name Jack. If so that would be brilliant
Only when it was Daylight Shaving Time.
... don't get me wrong... I don't mind the 5k... but the 10k is just way too much.
He's a cyantologist
No time travelers have come back trying to kill my kids in their cradles.
Itโs โB positiveโ.
I just thought...Don't try and tell my girlfriend what to order.
Yes, on a Finnish hymn.
Cicadian rhythms
People keep finding ways around the Al Gore Rhythm.
Frankly, it's just pointless.
He stood up and said "Plethora" , and the woman said "Thanks, that means a lot."
And another man stood up and said, "Bargain" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means a great deal."
Yet another stood up and said, "Earth" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means the world."
Yet another stood up and said, "Infinity" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means more than you can imagine."
Yet another stood up and said, "Being Alive" and the woman said, "Thanks, my husband would have loved that."
Another person simply held up a sprig of mentha spicata, and the widow said, "Thanks, that's a lovely scent of mint."
The one who can bring back two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.
They just make mooโed points ๐ฎ
Due to his current conduct, I had to ground him.
A gummy bear!
Theyโre calling it a tally ban
The poem may not be beautiful, but it's certainly very deep.
One sea turtle helped salvage his entire species by fathering over 300 kin. Afterwards, a young turtle approached him and asked, "Dad?"
He responded, "Probably."
I'm a son without a father... I lost him a few days ago to a heart attack and I just... can't stop crying
We both used to check out this sub daily for amazing dad jokes and laugh at them together... We'd try to form our own stupid stuff
I used to wake up for college early in the morning I'd cook some breakfast for him get ready and before leaving I'd wake him up and tell him a stupid dad joke... I'd want to see him start his day with a smile
I just want to thank you all in this sub for giving me and my dad happiness your jokes made us laugh at our worst times
Out of habit I keep getting up to go to his room with a dad joke... Only to see it empty
I'm never gonna get to mess around with my dad again... I'm never going to hang out with him again he's not going to be there to see me grow up and buy a house of my own ... He's not going to see me buy a car of own ... He's not going to see me get married... He's gone forever and I will never get to start my day with a smile again from a silly dad joke with him
He wasn't the greatest dad but he certainly was the best I could ever ask for ... I will miss you dad
Thank you r/dadjokes to all the amazing dads here and their funny and stupid jokes
Edit : thank you so much dad's for your overwhelming support I love you guys and I just want to take a moment to thank all the people here who shared their experiences as well of having lost a parent... Your story inspires me to continue forward with the torch
Also I'm seeing quite a few comments saying the post is not funny and that they came for a laugh... I'm truly sorry about that, I just really wanted to honor my dad in this sub since we spent so much time together here scrolling for jokes and I needed the push from you dads to get back on my feet
I'm never going to be the same that's for sure knowing a peice of me has been lost forever... The void will never be filled in my heart But your support is just what I needed, once again thank you dads I love you
Edit 2: thank you so much dads for your overwhelming support I know I haven't been able to respond to all the dms and messages here but I've been reading them all and it's just made me smile in the worst Thank you dads you guys are the best
It was dew Lee noted.
Now when I talk, I got this weird axe scent.
The one from the General Manager telling him he's been traded to the Mets.
I didnโt get it, though the answer was obvious.
Acute angle.
Pluto dressed up as a planet.
I said "Yes, veggies too!"
One says to the other, โDo you know how to drive this thing?โ
He went to the Dr because of constipation. The Dr gave him suppositories and said, โPut these in your rectum 3 times a day and come see me again next week.โ So, Dad goes back in a week and the Dr asked if the suppositories worked. Dad said, โWeโll Doc, for one thing, I donโt drink rectum, I drink Postum and for as much good as those did I couldโve shoved them up my ass!โ
Sham-poo
Snickers!
Itโs ground breaking
I told her, "You gotta holatta holas!"
He said, "There's more to life than money, Penny."
Bartender to his replacement at the end of his shift: "The Murphy Twins are drunk again."
