Why do centipedes hate shoe shopping?
It costs an arm and a leg… and a leg… and a leg.
In America, there are no centipedes or millipedes
Instead, they have inch worms.
I recently went to the US and realised there are no centipedes or millipedes,
Turns out they just can’t accept the metric system.
Did you know that centipedes can move up to 100 feet per second?
You could do that too if you had 100 feet.
What do you get when you put 100 centipedes into a group?
Did you know centipedes have a faster top speed than humans.
They run at 100 feet a second
What do you call a hundred centipedes?
Why are centipedes so dangerous?
Because they are well armed.
My dad calls centipedes "wall moustaches". 🤔
Why are centipedes so inclined to not spend money?
Because of Centi-Frugal force.
What animal is 100 times bigger than a centipede?
Hey Mr. Centipede what's taking you so long? We're late!
Hang on! I'm putting on my shoes!
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede?
What would you get if you crossed a parrot with a centipede?
How do 37 mathematicians board a bus with only 36 seats?
Tried to make a ripoff of The Human Centipede
The producers sewed my ass
I’ve been slowly torturing a centipede for the past 98 days
It’s on its last legs now.
Today I saw a centipede in the backyard
My wife asked me “how big was it?”
I said “about a hundred feet”
My surgeon was bragging how he lined up all the surgeries perfectly this week.
I told him he should be a mathematician if he really likes the order of operations.
Have you ever heard of the movie constipated
What do you call a cross between a centipede and a parrot?
How many meters was the longest centipede ever?
I don't know, but must've had about 100 feet
>!Sorry for imperial units :P!<
What has 400 legs and goes “slam slam slam slam”?
4 centipedes getting out of a car.
I just found out the fastest land animal in my area is a centipede.
It goes 100 feet per second.
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
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In case they get a hole-in-one!
Someone should remake The Human Centipede with cats.
You can call it "Caterpillar"
I had to have my pet centipede put to sleep this week, after he lost 84 of his limbs.
The vet said, he was on his last legs.
What kind of bug has the smelliest feet?
Why the centipede is always late for school?
Because she has to wear socks.
I caught a centipede!
99 more and ill have a dollarpede
Today I saw a giant, massive centipede!
Could've been worse, like Human Centipede
What do you get when you cross a Turkey and a Centipede?
The best Thanksgiving ever
Which rapper has the most legs?
A guy moved into an apartment and wasn’t allowed any pets
So he got a pet centipede. One day after a long shift, the man says, “hey pet centipede, wanna go to the bar for a drink?
The centipede didn’t say anything. He again asks, “do you want to go to the bar and get a drink?” Again, the centipede doesn’t answer.
Getting frustrated, the man again yells, “hey pet cent” but the centipede cuts him off and say, “I heard you the first time I’m putting on my shoes!”
what goes 99 clunk, 99 clunk 99 clunk?
A centipede with a wooden leg.
What do you call an insect that doesn't pay rent?
What is worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A centipede with gout.
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?
Why was the centipede late to the game?
He was putting on his shoes.
What do you get when crossbreed a parrot with a centipede?
What do you call a cross between a centipede and a parrot?
What do you get when you mix a centipede and a parrot?
What do you get when you cross a centipede and a parrot?
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede ?
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