Where did the car thieves go to celebrate after a successful robbery?
People who celebrate Valentine’s Day are stupid
People who celebrate post Valentine’s Day are smart because you get more bang for your buck.
Day 7: What did the windmill say meeting her favourite celebrity
We can’t celebrate New Years because then...
Where did the keys on a computer keyboard went to celebrate new years eve
I met a woman once at a party celebrating my father's 50th birthday.
We got to talking and I found out she worked as a stunt double on some pretty big name movie sets. She looked to be at least 10 years my senior but very fit and attractive and we both seemed to really be hitting it off.
Because all the immediate family in the local area had thrown a smaller, more private celebration for my father a few days prior, I didn't really feel a need to stick around any longer, so I asked the woman if she was interested in sharing some drinks with me at the nearby Hilton where I was staying. She happily accepted.
Suddenly, I turned towards the sound of my father's voice cheerfully calling out the name "Andra" (pronounced ON-druh) and my own as he approached. Andra, the woman I had been speaking with, turned towards him, glanced quickly back at me, then looked back again at my father and with a disconcerted look on her face exclaimed, "Oh brother!"
And that's when I realized the double, Aunt Andra.
Which kind of Swiss cheese always celebrates its birthday?
Hear the one about the celebrity Italian chef
Last night he just pasta way
Star wars celebrity names
Apologies if this breaks the rules however. My friends and I are making up names of star wars characters combined with celebrity names. So far we've come up with Darth spader, sith rogan, and obi wan kobe.
Any others we cant think of?
Me: going to my friends for new year's eve celebration
My dad: See you in a year.
Ps. It happens every damn time
Who was the only celebrity with four body parts in his name?
I have started carrying a piece of stone with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving.
It’s my jingle bell rock.
A Japanese zoo just celebrated the birth of a baby elephant
Before that nobody addressed the elephant in the womb.
BREAKING NEWS: Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus..
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
If the cameramen who take photos of celebrities are the paparazzi...
then the cameramen who take photos of poor people are the pauperazzi
On the day my friends were hosting my birthday celebration, I had diarrhea.
A pirate wanted to celebrate his captain’s birthday, so he bought a large quantity of balloons while ashore. Back on the ship, he walked over to hand the balloons to the captain, but he tripped and most of them floated away. The captain said, “Arrr! That was a costly mistake...”
“We lost a lot of doubloons.”
My friend asked what I was doing to celebrate my cake day.
I sat silently because I had no re-torte
Who's the most dangerous celebrity?
What's a bumblebee's favorite celebrity
Excellent work, ought to be celebrated
I went to the candle store to celebrate my cake day...
They were having a blowout sale.
My wife broke up with me at the star wars celebration. An anakin cosplayer came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder, and said...
What a sexist society we live in, today is National Daughter's Day and it's celebrated once a year.....
But we celebrate Son day every week!
Trees celebrating this month as
Today at dinner, my little brother asked me who a skeleton’s favorite celebrity is. I asked who, then he proceeded to Skeletor laugh and say....
My wife celebrated her two year anniversary of getting a breast reduction
She asked if I ever miss them. I always tell her it was her choice not mine and that the mammaries will last forever.
My wife and I just celebrated her 32nd birthday yesterday.
It was the fastest birthday party we’ve ever had.
My wife’s 32 today but I’m only allowed to celebrate my wife’s birthday for half a minute
After all it is her thirty second birthday
How do pickles celebrate their cake day?
To all of you who have been disowned by fathers. In honor of pride month and on behalf of all dads of R/dadjokes I just wanna say, buffalo.
Because you can always be our bi-son, and even if you don't feel like shooting straight, we will always be trans-parent with you. You are loved.
"A happy man is one who has found meaning in life"
How do you call a fight between celebrities?
What is a cat's favorite way to celebrate?
Yesterday I celebrated my thirty second birthday.
It just seems a little unfair that I only get half of a minute when everyone else gets the whole day.
I like celebrating Fathers' Day, but I'm not a dad.
I guess I'm just a faux pas.
I was driving behind this guy and realized he is celebrating a whole year early!!
Why do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day ?
They're very scentimental
My family just celebrated the 200th anniversary of owning a buffalo farm!
Yep. It's our bison-tennial.
Are French speaking people celebrating 420 as well? Or do they just call it 80?
Did you hear about the buffalo that lived 200 years?
It just celebrated its bison-tennial
Say "Happy Hole-y Days" instead of "Happy Groundhog day"
So that you include other later winter hole-based celebrations.
How do celebrities stay cool
What do you call a celebrity that fell down the stairs?
I think when this pandemic is over with, we need to have a day to celebrate truckers, for keeping the country running throughout all this. Maybe October 4th?
How do celebrities stay cool?
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