Which kind of Swiss cheese always celebrates its birthday?
A pirate wanted to celebrate his captain’s birthday, so he bought a large quantity of balloons while ashore. Back on the ship, he walked over to hand the balloons to the captain, but he tripped and most of them floated away. The captain said, “Arrr! That was a costly mistake...”
“We lost a lot of doubloons.”
My friend asked what I was doing to celebrate my cake day.
I sat silently because I had no re-torte
I went to the candle store to celebrate my cake day...
They were having a blowout sale.
What is a cat's favorite way to celebrate?
How do pickles celebrate their cake day?
My wife’s 32 today but I’m only allowed to celebrate my wife’s birthday for half a minute
After all it is her thirty second birthday
Why do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day ?
They're very scentimental
I think when this pandemic is over with, we need to have a day to celebrate truckers, for keeping the country running throughout all this. Maybe October 4th?
I was always told to we should celebrate our mistakes
I guess that's why my mum throws me a birthday party every year
The town I’m from just completed dredging a new river that’s going to make travel a lot easier. They’re having a feast to celebrate! It’s going to be called...
Today is the day that celebrates motherfuckers.
To celebrate Bundesliga return tonight!!
After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, their goalkeeper invited both of us to a party to celebrate.
It was the father, son, and the goalie host.
What holiday do we celebrate in May to remember all the mothers we lost in the past year?
To celebrate my cake day, I thought I'd give you all a pun.
My daughter: I'm turning 32 next week so I want to celebrate in a big way
Me: Okay but don't get your hopes up we're only going to celebrate for half a minute.
She: What? Why?
Me: Because it's your thirty-second birthday
Once a year I celebrate getting a sleeping place all to myself.
A want to have a party to celebrate our solar system.
I just have to planet first.
They celebrate the trials and tribulations of the inventors of Kotex today during Women's History Month!
It's a rags to riches story
Jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
I was all set to celebrate my promotion at work when my son came home and said he was voted king of his class...
He really reigned on my parade.
I asked my wife if she'd like a new Diamond Ring to celebrate our Anniversary
"Nothing would make me happier!" She replied
- So I got her nothing
I really wish I had made a pun about how we celebrate New Years Eve in Times Square.
I really dropped the ball on that one.
I don’t understand why people celebrate pi day
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons [xpost /r/trees]
This joke caters to the lowest common denominator.
I had a math test and the bouns question was to put down the first three numbers of Pi to celebrate Pi day.
I guess i would rate this day a 22/7.
Just realized why we celebrate Pride month in the summer.
Because pride cometh before the Fall.
To celebrate our wedding, my wife and I opened a few bottles from my late grandfather’s whiskey collection.
That way, he could be there in spirit.
My son was so excited to celebrate Father's Day . . .
That he woke screaming two hours before his normal wakeup time, and has resisted all attempts to take his morning nap.
Joke's on you, Dad!
Why are Americans so slow to celebrate 07.04.
I mean, it was the 7th of April months ago...
To celebrate Star Wars we baked some "Wookie Cookies".
They were a little on the Chewy side.
Why did the egg celebrate?
Because it just got laid.
My boss came into the office and poured us all shots to celebrate the birth of his daughter. I asked why the liquor had little bits of gold floating around in it, and he explained it was Goldschläger
How do rock climbers celebrate?
How did the caveman celebrate his birthday?
You can only celebrate someone's 32nd birthday you can only celebrate it for 30 seconds
Because it's their thirty second birthday
Today is a day to celebrate motherfuckers.
Jehovah’s Witness don’t celebrate Halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random strangers knocking on their doors
I got to celebrate my birthday for half a minute today!
It's my thirty second birthday.
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