Son: "I only crashed once!"
Me: "Most pilots only get one crash..."
Son: "Yeah, fair point."
Press paws.
Itโs still up in the air.
The downfall of Turkey, the overthrow of Greece, and the destruction of China,
They kept getting tipped.
Sir Loin.
Itโs a big catastrophe.
Yeah, he was t-boned!
A hissy fit
They feared catastrophic events.
pick up litter using a doggie bag
A meowntain
Apparently "no it's just you" wasn't the right answer.
Itโs only a draft at the moment
They named it Hue-manatee
Donโt ask meow.
I called animal welfareย when I found a suitcase with four kittens in it.
"That's awful!" The lady on the phone said. "Are the kittens moving?"
"I don't know," I said. "But if they are, that explains the suitcase."
Donโt ask Meow.
and a lifetime ban from the Cleveland zoo
The kitten was invading her Purr-sonal space!
Because it's an emerging sea.
A flea market.
and immediately crashes it, killing several people.
At the trial, the man is found guilty of multiple murders and sentenced to death.
Before he faces his sentence, heโs offered a last meal, and asks for a single banana, which is given to him.
The next day, heโs led to the electric chair. They strap him in, pull the switch, and... nothing happens.
Thereโs never been a failure before. But because you cannot punish a person twice for the same crime, the court is forced to let him go free.
Within a weekโs time, naturally, the man, who is obsessed with trains, goes and steals another one.
He doesnโt care that he canโt drive it or that he failed catastrophically before; he is obsessed with trains and his only desire is to operate one. As before, he crashes it, and kills several people.
Again, he stands trial, and again, he is sentenced to death, showing no remorse, only delight that he got to operate the train.
His last meal request is a single banana. When he goes to the chair, the executioner pulls the switch, but nothing happens. He goes free again.
The train-obsessed maniac, once more on the loose, wastes no time in hijacking a train and crashing it.
His trial is speedy, because this has already happened twice, and he is sentenced to death.
They ask him what heโd like for his last meal. โA single banana,โ he says.
โOh, no you donโt, you son of a bitch. Weโre on to you, now. We know all about your little banana trick, and youโre not escaping this time!โ
The guards refuse his request, and instead serve him a standard last meal of steak, potatoes, and berry cobbler.
The next morning they strap him into the electric chair, pull the switch, and... nothing happens.
โDid you give him the banana?โ demands the head guard.
โNo, sir! He asked for the banana but we didnโt give it to him, we swear!โ says one of the guards.
Turns out the banana had nothing to do with anything. He was just a really bad conductor.
He kept on hitting paws on the remote.
But cats can
It's not stroganoff
Sounds like they're a bunch of quacks to me.
It was a catastrophe.
I call it a Cat-apult
A Catastrophe
My wife said it was a catastrophe.
It's a catastrophe!
Because if they bronzed it and put it on a shelf, it would be a catastrophe!
Combining a cat with an apostrophe would be a catastrophe.
Donโt ask meow
