Someone asked how much I know about carving objects out of wood.

I replied, β€œA whittle.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
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On a picture of some carvings
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ice-cream_kitty
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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I’m not super experienced with wood carving.

I only know a whittle.

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryan-Bburg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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I saw a spectacular wood carving of a manatee today.

Oh, that hewn manatee!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/voip_geek
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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Sorry kids - we won't be carving pumpkins this year

Sorry to squash your enthusiasm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrYogurt1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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My friend was arrested because he was carving equations into a block of quartz.

He was charged with manufacturing crystal math.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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Last Thanksgiving I cut myself with the carving knife so my idiot brother-in-law walks up and grabs the bloody cut and starts twisting it. I screamed β€œOuch, what are you doing!!”

He says, β€œI’m applying the turn-a-cut!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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My dad was carving a chicken...

He started carving it, then got to the legs. He chopped one off and loudly said 'AHA! YOUR GOING NOWHERE NOW!'

Sigh.

πŸ‘︎ 464
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrRagingMammoth
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2013
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This year I'm carving my pumpkin to look like an intricate ball of rope . . .

. . . so it can be a gourd-ian knot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cloakmouse1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
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Wood carving

My niece was carving a piece of wood for a project she's doing. She said to me, "This is difficult. I bet wood carvers' hands must be in pain all the time."

I told her, "It doesn't hurt bad, only a whittle." She was not amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alf-was-here
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2017
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Doing a little hand carving
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MEatRHIT
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2015
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When you are carving a Jack O' Lantern, and you make a mistake. How do you fix it?

Dad: When you are carving a Jack O' Lantern, and you make a mistake. How do you fix it?

Me: Sigh What's the punchline?

Dad: You use a pumpkin patch! Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck, Nyuck!

(He actually said it like that.)

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trityler
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2014
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Why do they call wood carving "whittling"?

Because you start with a bigger piece of wood, and you make it whittler.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/z64dan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2016
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My daughter was carving soap at school.

She came home to tell us about her project; a bear. I asked how she did, she says she forgot to do the front paws of the bear. I told her to ask for the project back to fix it because...

She had the right to arm bears.

Actual dad joke I told.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2017
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I did an obelisk carving in ceramics class last week.

It was a relief when I finished.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fluffyxsama
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2015
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On Carving Pumpkins

We're making jack o'lanterns and my mom is working on something pretty ambitious (I think it's a leaf). I say something about it, and my dad gets a big grin on his face and comments,

"Boys, your mom is Vincent van Gourd!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clayh5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2013
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Carving pumpkins with my wife

Wife: "These pumpkins don't have many seeds in them" Me: "That's because they are good pumpkins" Wife: "????" Me: "They aren't seedy" Wife: eyeroll

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavidTigerFan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2015
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passe by a gravestone carving business

my dad points and says "wow, looks like business is dead"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquidManHero
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2013
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Pumpkin Carving

When I was growing up and transitioning from baby to crooked adult teeth, my dad used to sit me down and tell me to smile. He would then pretend to carve the pumpkin's smile to look like mine and tell me how perfectly scary it was.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justkayla
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2013
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What do I know about carving wood?

Very whittle.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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How much do I like carving objects from wood?

Not much. Just a whittle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elyas_machera
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2018
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