Carnivores Puns

For the meatier showers

Because they don't have beef for each other.

Credits: My 5 year old nephew.

If there is, I’d love to meat them.

It was meaty oaker

He gave peas a chance.

But they'd be lion.

A mongoose :)

To get to the otter slide.

A meat-eater-ologist!

A meat-eater-ologist.

Ameatyeater mediator

At the local Aquarium with my wife and 6month old, walked into the Land a Sea carnivorous mammals (Mostly Otters) exhibit.

Wife: I only see one otter.

Dad(Me): I see anOtter one...

My family and I were trying to teach my little brother about herbivores and carnivores, so when we would look at a dinosaur we would ask him, "What do you think this dinosaur ate?" and he would answer. We got to one dinosaur and my mom says "What do you think this one was? Veggies or meat?" My dad then answers, "I'm no dinosaur expert but I'm thinking it was made out of meat." My dad and I shared a good laugh but my mom was not amused.

I just came back from a holiday back to the UK to visit friends and family (am an expat).

While we were there we went to a nice community festival, with some great beers. An American friend of a friend proudly proclaimed that he’d bought a pint of red stout.

Looking up at the board, and seeing the name of the beer, my eyes lit up: a golden opportunity had just presented itself.

‘Nah mate, that’s not red stout, it’s called Red Stoat. You do know what a stoat is, right?

[confusion]

‘Well, it’s a little rodent, a bit like a weasel. You know how you can tell the difference between a stoat and a weasel?’

‘Er..’

‘Well’, I says, ‘a weasel is weasily identifiable, and a stoat is stoatally different.’

Cue a puzzled look on the guys face, and a moment’s silence, broken by me and my friend pissing ourselves laughing, not at the joke of course, but at his reaction.

So this was all very well and good, just another in the litany of bad jokes that floats in my wake, and I thought the story ended there.

Karma, however, had other plans…

A few days later, we’re up in the Lake District, walking back to the hotel after a pub dinner. As we’re walking down the road, we see a small carnivorous rodent dragging the recently deceased body of a rabbit back to its home. It was either a stoat, or a weasel, but you know what? I honestly had no way to tell which…