Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? The same thing applies with the Virgin Islands...

There are no canaries there either...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bringojackprot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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What did the 600-pound canary say to the cat?

[[in your deepest possible voice]] Here kitty kitty kitty....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikerowave
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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What happens when you drop a 14 pound weight on 2 canaries?

You kill 2 birds with one stone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NSSupervisor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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Greg Canary
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πŸ‘€︎ u/minnixi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
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Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?

Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moniker5000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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What did the canary say when his cage broke?

Cheap cheap cheap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPapaChuck
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
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Have you heard about the disease you get from kissing birds ?

It's called Chirpies. It's a canarial disease. It's untweetable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Why did the coal miner eat his lantern?

He wanted a light snack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRockingDead
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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So I slept with this chick and now I've got chirpese. It's a canarial disease.

The doctor says it's untweetable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/excy
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2014
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One of my favourite dad jokes from the early 00’s: In an attempt to stop the spread of bird flu

President Bush has bombed the Canary Islands. Turkey is next!

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πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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Pun pet names.

Pets I want to have....

An otter name Harry Otter. A snake named Severus Snake. A tortoise named Voldetort. A chicken named Kylo Hen. A dog named Barkamedes. A deer named David Hasselhoof. A turkey named Green Gobbleen. A cat named Captain Ameowrica. A stork named Tony Stork. A pig named Peter Porker. A crocodile named Croctor Strange. A duck named Ducktor Doom. A squid named Abraham Inkin. A goose named Ryan Gooseling. A heron named Charlize Heron. A goat named Selena Goatmez An alpaca named Alpacachino. A carp name Leonardo Di’Carprio. A tuna named Tuna Turner. A horse named Neighlor Swift. A toad named Demi Lavatoad. A Rhino named Ryan Rhinolds. A swan named Swan Jovi. A Falcon named Jimmy Falcon. A ferret named Ferret Faucet. A rabbit named Hoptimus Prime. A cow named Moolissa McCarthy. A crow named Seth Crowgan. A fox named Charlie Fox. A cat named Katy Purry. A wolf named Howly Berry. A hamster named Scarlet Johamster. A parrot named Squakin Phoenix. A duck named DuckleBerry Finn. A canary named Jim Canary. A swarm of bees, all named BeeyoncΓ©. A sheep named Meryl Sheep. An elk named Elkton John. A bear named Teddy Mercury. A ram named Gordon RAMsey. A shark named Fin Diesel. A jellyfish named Jelly Clarkson. An Iguana named Eddie Lizard. A hyena named Hyena Bonham Carter. A penguin named Robird Downey Jr.

a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clixer712
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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My parrot was diagnosed with STD

Vet says he has Chirpees. He said there's no need for concern, because it's a Canarial disease, and it's tweetable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Smaldini_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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Did i tell you about my sick bird?

He has chirpees.

It's a canarial disease.

It's untweetable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smedley89
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2017
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Twitter virus...

A virus has been found on twitter, it's called "Chirpees". They say it's a canarial disease, but thankfully is tweetable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
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There's a sale on at my local pet store.

Canaries are going cheep!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oregan1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
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Whats yellow, has four legs, flys, and weighs a thousand pounds?

Two 500lb canaries πŸ˜‚ (Joke may or may not have been stolen from The Andy Griffith Show S2 EP5 "Barney on the Rebound")

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ilikebuttmunching
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2018
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My dad is something of a medical expert in the family

"Looks like she has a canarial disease."

A what, Dad? Canarial disease?

"Yep. No tweetment."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeanOnFire
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
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Canary Islands

Did you know?

On the Canary Islands, there is not one Canary.

and on the Virgin Islands, there is not one Canary there either.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeeaficionado_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? And the same thing applies to the Virgin Islands;

There are no canaries there either.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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TIL: there are no canaries on the Canary Islands. The Virgin Islands are the same..

There are no canaries there either.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djmuhlestein
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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Did you know there’s no canaries on the Canary Islands?

Same with the Virgin Islands. There’s no canaries there either.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Pinn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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You know how the Canary islands is a misnomer, since there's no canaries? It's the same with the Virgin Islands

There's no canaries there either

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poortio
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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Did you know that on the Canary Islands there is not one Canary !!!!

Also on the Virgin Islands - same thing - not one canary there either

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stonefly_C
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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Did you know that there isn't a single canary on the Canary Islands?

... And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing. Not one canary there either.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djeclipz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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What did the 600 pound canary say to the cat?

<in your lowest possible voice> Here kitty kitty kitty...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikerowave
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
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A joke about Islands

There are no canaries on the Canary Islands.

And on the Virgin islands... >!nope, no canaries there either!<.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
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Twitter virus alert!

There's a new virus on twitter. It's called "chirpies"..It's a canarial disease, but thankfully it's tweetable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
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