Campsites Puns

It’s really intents

Because you ran through it, it's past tents!

You have to 'ran' - because it's past tents

It bears repeating.

It was seriously in-tents.

The company said, “If your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”

It was fucking in tents!

Two were from Germany, the third was Czechoslovakian. They were about two days into their hunting trip, having a good ol’ time when two bears come out of nowhere and devoured the three hunters.

Crime scene investigation was called in after a couple of hikers stumbled across the bloody campsite, and the detective came to the conclusion that the two Germans were eaten up by the female bear.

When asked how he knew, he pointed behind a tent where the second bear was sprawled out dead, with a foot sticking out, and he said, ‘well, if you do a dna test, you’ll find that the Czech is in the male.’

Thank you. I’m here all night.

That shit was in tents.

You have to ran, because it's past tents.

A favorite with boy/girl scout troops...

The tentagon.

It’s fucking intense

The campsite reports that it is the first time that they've encountered such a tent nickel difficulty.

Because the stakes are too high

He asked me what I thought of it, I told him "it looks fowl"

Three men go camping in the wilderness; a German, an Italian and a Czechoslovakian. While asleep, their campsite is attacked by a couple of bears and all 3 men are presumed killed. Forest Rangers get deployed to find the missing campers. After inspecting the campsite, the Rangers discover the bear tracks and follow them to the den. Inside are the 2 bears, a male and a female, which the Rangers quickly kill. First, they opened the stomach of the female and inside were the remains of the German and Italian men.

"Looks like our work here is done," the lead Ranger says to his partner.

"But we only found 2 bodies!" The partner cries back.

The Ranger removes his sunglasses and looks vacantly into the distance before finally telling his partner:

"Clearly the Czech is in the male."

As a Boy Scout, we would camp a lot and go on hikes.

One night, we had to do a night hike, alone, for a merit badge. I had left the campsite about an hour earlier and a terrible storm rolled in. The sky opened up and the ground was quickly saturated. I tried to continue my hike for another few minutes, but it got cold and I was chilled and soaked to the bone, so I decided to try to head back to camp.

Lightning was starting to crackle above me, so I thought I should try to take a shortcut to make my hike back quicker. I pulled out my compass and found my direction, but the rain made it impossible to see more than five feet in front of me.

I was looking down at my compass, not paying any attention to where I was going, and suddenly felt weightless. The feeling didn't last long as I thumped down on slippery earth a second later.

I had fallen onto a ledge on the side of a rather steep cliff, the bottom of which was at least fifty feet down.

I sat there, contemplating on how to get back up this cliff as water rolled over the edge ten feet above me. There was nothing to grab onto to pull myself up. I was stuck there.

After a few minutes, I noticed the little ledge I was standing on was slowly getting smaller. The water was coming down so hard it was eroding the tiny bit of safety I had.

I dug through my pockets, thinking maybe I had something, anything, to help me out of my precarious situation. All I had was my compass, a cough drop, and a match. I was screwed.

So, I sat there, watching the edge of the ledge I was on get closer and closer to my feet, when suddenly I felt something pushing on my back.

I turned slightly and saw a wooden box sticking out of the cliff behind me. It was working its way out of the side, the rain surely helping it along. I tried to move away from it, but the ledge wasn't very wide and the box kept coming out, pushing me farther to the weak and failing edge.

As more of the box came out, to my horror, I realized it was a coffin! I had no idea how old it was, but it looked rather rotten. All I could think of was being pushed off this ledge, and the rotten coffin breaking and dropping a skeleton onto my broken and battered body at the bottom.

The coffin crept closer, my foot began to slip. I grabbed onto a root that was sticking out of the cliffside and dug in my pocket once more.

I hurriedly tore the wrapper off the cough drop and stuck it in my mouth. It stopped the coffin.

This joke has been told to me

A group of friends and I have gone to Bonnaroo (a music festival, for those who aren't aware) the past two years. this year, my friends dad decided to tag along with us, and he is one of those dads who is chill as hell and doesn't really care about the obvious drug use that occurs at festivals. while we were all hanging out at our campsite, a guy approached our campground and asked "hey, do any of you guys want some mushrooms?" my friend's dad, who was fully aware what shrooms are, was the first to respond, saying "nah, mushrooms are my least favorite pizza topping." the guy just kind of blankly stared for a second, then walked away as we all laughed/groaned.

Leaving the campsite that morning, girlfriend's parents come over while I'm deflating the air mattress. The mattress we have has a battery-powered inflater/deflater.

Gf's mom: "Oh, it even comes with a sucker!"

Me: "Yeah, and for once it isn't the consumer."

You can only ran. It's always past tents (tense).

You can only ran as it's past tents.

You can only ran, since it's past tents.

You have to ran, it's past tents.

You can only ran, because it’s past tents.

Cuz you can only ran, it's past tents

You can only 'Ran' because it's past tents.

You can only ran, it's past tents...

You can only ran, 'cause it's past tents.

Because it’s past tents

You can only "ran" because it's passed tents.

They told me, “If your tent gets blown away, you won’t be covered.”

You can only ran, because it’s past tents.

You can only ran, because it's past tents.

Because it's past tents

Because it was past tents.

You can only ran because it's past tents

They said that if my tents get blown away, I won’t be covered.

you can only ran. it's past tents.

You can only ran, because its past tents...

They said, “If your tents get blown away, you won’t be covered.”

you can only ran, because it’s past tents.

They said, “If your tent gets destroyed, you won’t be covered.”