Blessings Puns

A list of puns related to "Blessings"

What does the pope use to send his blessings?

Pray-pal

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👤︎ u/hvr1
📅︎ Jun 18 2020
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I just saw a priest blessing an avocado...

Holy guacamole.

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👤︎ u/FinalCaveat
📅︎ Jun 18 2020
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Understanding Quantum Mechanics is both a blessing and a curse.
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👤︎ u/DisRuptive1
📅︎ Aug 27 2018
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What do you call a book that defines blessings

A benedictionary

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👤︎ u/harshil0217
📅︎ Apr 04 2019
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As a dyslexic, having autocorrect is both a blessing and a cruise.
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👤︎ u/DoctorSpurlock
📅︎ Jul 12 2014
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Did you know all swiss cheese is blessed by priests?

That's why its holey.

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👤︎ u/TuvoksDoRag
📅︎ Feb 06 2021
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I was given a bag of peanuts that had been blessed by the Pope.

I gave them away...I hate religious nuts.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Feb 11 2021
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I tried to bless the rains down in Africa...

It was a Toto failure. 🤦🏻‍♂️

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👤︎ u/Bradb717
📅︎ Jan 13 2021
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God bless my Dad

Instead of the typical "last year" jokes after midnight, he completely confused my mom by talking about "last month."

"We brought those over last month."

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👤︎ u/ech0_matrix
📅︎ Jan 01 2021
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I had my pastor bless a bottle of mercury for me.

I love my Christian Heavy Metal.

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👤︎ u/GerbilSpanker
📅︎ Nov 05 2020
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What do you call a blessed blanket?

Holy sheet

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👤︎ u/Accomplished_Yam_989
📅︎ Nov 20 2020
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What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe..

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👤︎ u/GoldenBalls7
📅︎ Oct 29 2020
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Cheesus Crust Tshirt - Funny Jesus/Pizza Pun reddit.com/gallery/lun83c
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👤︎ u/JIGSAW2323
📅︎ Feb 28 2021
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Its that time of the year. Blessed
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👤︎ u/Savings_Cattle
📅︎ May 24 2020
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You guys ever notice how there's no vampires in Africa?

Well, from what I know about Vampires, Holy Water can kill them, and from what I've heard they bless the rains down in Africa.

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👤︎ u/Rob_Omega21
📅︎ Mar 04 2021
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Forbidden
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👤︎ u/hustle_like_demon
📅︎ Nov 08 2020
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Blessed stand
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👤︎ u/Kyu303
📅︎ May 18 2020
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What does the Pope say when he wants to bless a pack of cigarettes?

Holy smokes!

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👤︎ u/Musicguy1982
📅︎ Aug 08 2020
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I wish him well
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👤︎ u/SlothsRevenge622
📅︎ Oct 05 2020
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blessed_tooth
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👤︎ u/ShadowDabber
📅︎ Dec 20 2019
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The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me when I was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone.

He said, “Fine. Suit yourself.”

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Aug 14 2020
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My wife was a little puzzled when I suddenly bought some new beads for her abacus. Smiling, I said to her...

"Honey, it’s the little things that count!"

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Aug 10 2020
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Bless you
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👤︎ u/udipadhikari
📅︎ Feb 17 2019
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Did you know that Africa has had no vampires since 1982?

That's the year that Toto blessed the rains there.

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👤︎ u/OmeletteAuFromage_
📅︎ Dec 25 2020
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Knock knock

Who's there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you.

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👤︎ u/RoboGideon
📅︎ Feb 06 2021
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God blessed my beans and meat

It's spirit-chilli ready to eat

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👤︎ u/hotsprings1234
📅︎ May 18 2020
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Papa shit blesses you
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👤︎ u/Ash019260
📅︎ Oct 11 2019
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blessed_tooth
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👤︎ u/ShadowDabber
📅︎ Dec 20 2019
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I'm a lactose intolerant and this doesn't explain why I see hell after eating cheese
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👤︎ u/Rengar_Downey_Jr
📅︎ Oct 22 2020
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Bless this game
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👤︎ u/TheTrueMadgenta
📅︎ Oct 29 2019
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blessed_buttons
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👤︎ u/ItzYaBoi25
📅︎ Oct 17 2019
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What pokemon shoots holy water?

Blesstoise.

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👤︎ u/TheMightyBattleSquid
📅︎ Dec 19 2020
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Ha ha ha
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👤︎ u/nuttunut
📅︎ Jun 23 2020
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Did you hear about the pope that wanted to be a ninja?

He was a blessing in disguise

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👤︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
📅︎ Sep 21 2020
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Cheesus Christ
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👤︎ u/harsoul05
📅︎ Aug 24 2020
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I blessed the drains down in Africa
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👤︎ u/iandouglas
📅︎ Mar 08 2019
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God bless Ameruca
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👤︎ u/XGN_Carter1
📅︎ Apr 22 2019
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Bless my soul!
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👤︎ u/coadnamedalex
📅︎ Jan 22 2019
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Bless you
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👤︎ u/live4lifelegit
📅︎ Apr 24 2018
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Me: Just crossed into Oklahoma. Be there soon.

My Dad: I would say OK! but...

(An actual text from my Dad bless him)

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👤︎ u/electronicthesarus
📅︎ Nov 08 2020
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What do you call a nun with a face veil, on a plane.

A blessing in the skys (disguise)

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👤︎ u/Sikarknight
📅︎ Sep 21 2020
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What is the most blessed seafood?

Holy mackerel!

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👤︎ u/89iroc
📅︎ Oct 20 2019
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Don’t scroll without saying shalom
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👤︎ u/Axiom_117
📅︎ Aug 31 2019
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I was wondering why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa

and then I realized vampires are killed by holy water...they blessed the rains down in Africa

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👤︎ u/John_Doez_
📅︎ Oct 09 2020
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I hear in Africa they tried an experiment where they blessed the rains

It was a Toto failure.

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👤︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
📅︎ Jan 08 2020
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What is made of leather, a foot long and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

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👤︎ u/HydrosFear
📅︎ Aug 17 2020
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Knock knock. Who's there?

Hatch.

Hatch who?

Bless you.

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👤︎ u/FredererPower
📅︎ Nov 21 2020
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If a priest blesses an avocado

Would it be a holy guacamole?

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👤︎ u/Inoune
📅︎ Jun 09 2019
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