My 12yo's first big pun. I'm so proud.
Mods are awake. Upvote this picture of Big Pun anyway.
A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says "I'll have a gin and...... tonic." The Bartender asks "Why the big pause?"
The Polar Bear replies, "I don't know, I've always had them."
(For big brains only) What do you call a car when it turns into a driveway?
I threw a kitchen appliance into the ocean thinking it would make a big splash...
But it was only a microwave.
Did you hear about the member of the United Society of Believers in Christ's Second Appearing who got turned around on his trip to the big city and ended up in a bad part of town, where he was mugged?
It was a lost Shaker assault.
What do you call a deer with big eyes?
I made a big take-out order at a cannibal diner the other day
The cashier said "you need a hand with that?". I replied "no thanks, I've got two beefy arms right here!".
I was asking my boyfriend why his second toe is longer then his big toe.
He said it gives him better in-toe-ition
Edit. He really said this and I was like I need to post this in dad jokes
I used to be a big metal fan.
But, with recent revelations, I have discovered that I, am an air conditioner.
Do you know why gorillas have big nostrils
Because they have big fingers
I got really sick from eating a big, wild animal last week.
Why do fruit usually have big weddings?
A surgeon got into a motorbike accident that left a big gash on her leg. When she was wheeled into the ER she refused to let the duty doctor stitch her up. "No!" she said, "I don't trust your handiwork!". So the emergency doctor handed over the needle and thread and said:
What's big and long and has cum in it?
What do sprinters eat before a big race?
Boy: “Dad, are these big hairy cows gay?”
Dad: “No, they’re bison.”
What kind of dog is as big as a kingdom?
A Dalnation.
Thanks to my 9yo daughter for this one 😆
The people fixing the tower above Big Ben
Why did the coward suddenly feel brave after touching a big rock?
Because he felt a little boulder.
A psychic goes into a store. The shop employee hands her a sweater in size large, and she says it’s too big. The employee asks how she knows without trying it on.
The psychic replies, “I’m a medium.”
It's surprising that the top of Big Ben has taken 5 years to complete.
They must have been working around the clock.
I don't see what the big deal is with false equivalencies.
They're just as bad as any other argument.
Big Moron and Little Moron were on a bridge. Big Moron fell off, but the other didn’t because…
I have trouble seeing the big picture.
The picture is bigger than any of the walls in my house...
What did the baby computer say to the big computer?
Why is Santa's sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year
What’s big, brown, and behind the wall?
What did the big tomato say to the little tomato?
You will never ketchup to me
Old newspapers are in big trouble!
Read all about it! Read all about it!
Big day today my daughter and I are going to get Lasik surgery.
What do you call a big potato?
Did you hear about the big fire at the traveling circus. Just on the outskirts of town?
Witnesses reported it was literally in-tents!
Today in my biology lesson, my teacher told us that all big cats hunted by hiding, except leapords.
When I asked her why, she said, "Well, because they're always spotted."
What’s big and white and can’t climb trees?
It would be bad if Elon Musk got caught up in a big scandal…
Elongate would be really drawn out.
People that say they’ve got big balls
Are just being egotesticle
Why did the melon boyfriend and girlfriend have a big wedding?
I had to pay a big import tax on my new Honda.
I know I shouldn’t complain, though. It was my Civic duty, after all.
I finally convinced my wife to attend the big boxing match with me
I told her they set the world record for the largest purse!
Some people say the Sasquatch has big feet.
So it turns out that life is just one big test - but that’s okay…..
Apparently everyone will pass.
Why do gorillas have big noses?
Because they have big fingers.
It's surprising that the top of Big Ben has taken 5 years to complete.
They must have been working around the clock.
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