What happened to Betty Crocker?

She went stir crazy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Couldbeurmom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Black Betty had a car accident

Bambulance

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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Whoa Black Betty
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thumbs0fDestiny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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What do Betty Crocker and Major League Baseball have in common?

Great batters

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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What do the Houston Astros and Betty Crocker have in common?

A great selection of batters!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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An African woman called Betty came into the restaurant.

Asked if we had chicken? I replied, β€œno, black Betty It’s ham or lamb.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sipinwhiskey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
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George, Betty, and Michael walk into a bar

Someday should raise it, so many people already got hurt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yomyoo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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Ooh Black Betty, &...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greenbastardette
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
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Whoa-oh Black Betty!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stdubz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2013
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An African lady named Betty walked into a butcher's shop and asked if they sold any chicken.

The man behind the counter sang "NOO Black Betty, ham or lamb"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordJimsicle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2017
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I guess my dad works for Betty Crocker.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swimshoe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2013
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William Shatner has discontinued his line of ladies lingerie.

Apparently Shatner panties was a poor choice of name.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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A recipe for a good relationship

My wife and daughter are working on improving the meringue cookie recipe they are using.

I asked if the batter was better and my wife said yes.

So I asked if it had enough sugar or if it was a bitter better batter.

The look on her face was priceless!

I reminded her that she knew my sense of humor before she married me and went through with it anyway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeyRidesABikey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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Obituary for the Pillsbury Dough Boy, Pop N Fresh

The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.

The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eyes_and_teeth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Croc-er Spaniel
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotSocialEngineer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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My dad just got me good

Dad: you ever hear of the book The Yellow River?

Me: no

Dad: Do you know the author?

Me: how would I know the author if I haven't even heard of the book.

Dad: well it was written by I.P. Daily

Me: never heard of him

Dad: I.P. Daily?

Me: no- oh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KaptanKrops
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2018
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Pulled some culinary joke on my Girlfriend.

We were making pancake mix and it was a little thick, so I was pouring milk and stirring to get a better consistency. Once I got a good mix she said

"That's better"

I look up and say

"No, that's batter"

She hit me.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/War_Messiah
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2016
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A Farmer has three daughters and each has a date on the same night.

The farmer sits on his porch with his shotgun across his lap.

The first boy arrives and says, "Evening sir, my name is Freddy, I'm here for Betty, we're gonna eat spaghetti, is she ready?"

The farmer looks the boy over, and says "sure sure, go on in"

The second boy arrives, and says, "Howdy sir, my name is Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're gonna see the show, is she ready to go?"

The farmer looks down at his shotgun, then back at Joe, and says "sure sure, go on in, she's ready"

The third boy arrives, and says, "Good evening sir, my name is Chuck..." KER-BLAM!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamkeerock
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
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Forget kale.

What are Keith Richards and Betty White eating?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?

It's by Willie Makit and Betty Wunt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
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&

Whoa, Black Betty!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rpluslequalsJARED
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2017
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Dough Boy

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. He was buried Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies. The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded". Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children, and one in the oven. The funeral was at 3:50 for 20 minutes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/natesplace19010
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2016
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New book recommendations from Dad!

Brown Spots on the Wall by Woo Flung Poo

Yellow River by I. P. Nightly

Under The Bleachers by Seymour Bawtz

40 Yards to the Outhouse written by Will E. Mayket, illustrated by Betty Whont

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icebemily
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2013
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I've got a few books you guys might like to read

~100 Yards to the Outhouse, the True Story of Willy Maket by Betty Dont

~One Legged Woman by Eileen Offtin

~The Yellow River by I.P. Freely

~Stripper Bliss by Ivana Taketoff

~Lines in the Sand by Dick Dragon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steller24
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2017
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I got this nearly every night.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Betty.

Betty who?

Betty time for Johnny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnnyRompain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
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Algebra teachers

In algebra two we are learning about arc length, circumference, and pi.

Student: So...who made pi?

Teacher: Betty Crocker.

I was the only that laughed and the entire class had the most confused look on their faces.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ego_max
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2014
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My dad's response to waiters/waitresses .

When our waiter or waitress asks us if we're ready to order, my dad, without fail, responds, "I'm ready like Betty Crocker." At this point most waiters/waitresses don't get the reference because Betty Crocker used to have ads that had the slogan, "Ready when you are, and even when you're not." So some of the times he'll explain it, most of the time he just leaves the waiter/waitress confused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hollanes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2013
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