(credit: Groucho Marx)
The Bee’s Sneeze
One, ein, un, bat, ekab, moja, wahed, odin, yski
Rap music
Curry On Wayward Son.
Because they have a proven track record
Han sanitizer
Because they always give it their awl
Hoosier daddy
I said, "in a croc pot".
Iron Man :)
Being a wealthy celebrity, he'd volunteered to hold the proceedings at his home. The spread was excellent and Pat's father drew him aside as things were winding down.
"I have a feeling your team is going to do great this year!"
"Why's that Dad?"
"I feel like God can't help but root for a man who's a father, a son and a goalie-host."
Popcorn
John Wilkes Tooth
I used to be addicted to soap but ... I am clean now.
I am addicted to brake fluid but ... I can stop anytime.
If you are attacked by a group of clowns ... go for the juggler.
I just moved and IMMEDIATELY after we move in he starts banging on my door every night yelling at me ... coincidentally I just happen to be playing my drums those nights so I could easily tune him out.
I was just diagnosed with colorblindness ... It came right out of the purple.
I failed math so many times at school ... I can’t even count.
Once i threw a boomerang, it never came back, ... Now I live in CONSTANT fear
When life gives you melons ... you might be dyslexic.
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline ... She hit the ceiling!
There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count ... and those who can't
They say three out of five people suffer from diarrhea ... so ... does that mean two out of five enjoy it?
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
And, I said “Yes, because it will be my 52nd birthday!”
Good friends are hard to find.
The penultimate, ultimate pen.
Pander Bears
Then I got confused because I only saw questions about pi
They knew he’d give a French toast, and they said it wasn’t worth the pain.
Marscapone...
Dakar
If you don't get it, it's because it's an inside joke.
Martha was burning with curiosity
I highly recommend 12/10
But the conversation went a rye.
A Dell
It’s for a discord bot I’m going to put in a server full of people who could use some dad jokes
The rest is mostly downhill
He's mostly known for his polyp fiction.
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus!
Him: second best?
Me: yeah, I'm still the best son. But you're doing great, too.
Leather ones, because they’re made of Hide.
Sea salt.
It’s remarkable.
6:30.
Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
An inside joke.
