I'm trying out this new kitchen set with no egg beater

The says it's a 30 day whisk free trial

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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My wife was trying to make butter from milk by churning it with a beater, after 30 mins, there was still no butter, she asked β€œhow much longer do I need to beat it?” I said ...

Until it starts talking

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stor_e_teller
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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I bought my missus an egg-beater for our wedding anniversary.

I knew she wanted me to whisk her away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elokwins
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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Mom: Honey do you mind if I wear your wife-beater?

Dad: Sure. Knock yourself out!

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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Did you hear about the egg beater that does math?

It's a calculated whisk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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I invented a better egg-beater, but I couldn't find any investors willing to take a chance on my product.

They didn't want to be involved in any "whisky business"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonQueue
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
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Two guys were fighting. One with a whisk, the other with a beater.

They were having an eggs utensil conflict

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πŸ‘€︎ u/naking
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2016
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Harry Potter could be a great mafia boss

He always catches the snitch

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/3174N
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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What kind of shirts do farmers wear?

Crop tops.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BiiiigBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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Funny quotes from Blackadder the Third

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): I have come up with a plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel.

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): Morning, Mr. B.

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Leave me alone, Baldrick. If I wanted to talk to a vegetable, I would have bought one at the market.

[Referring to a suicide pill they have both been given, after being captured by French revolutionaries]

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): I’m glad to say you won’t be needing that pill, Mr. B.

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words β€œI have a cunning plan” marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): They certainly are.

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Well, forgive me if I don’t do a cartwheel of joy; your record in this department is hardly 100%. So what is it?

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): We do nothing …

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Yup, it’s another world-beater.

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): No, wait. We do nothing … until our heads have actually been cut off.

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): And then we … spring into action?

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): [to Baldrick] Unless I think of something, tomorrow we go to meet our Maker: in my case God, in your case God knows.

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): Sounds like a bag of grapefruits to me, Mr B.

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): The phrase, Baldrick, is β€œa case of sour grapes” – and yes it bloody well is.

Mrs. Miggins: The Scarlet Pimpernel, Mr. Blackadder! He’s so exciting, don’t you think?

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Actually, I think he’s the most over-rated human being since Judas Iscariot won the AD31 Best Disciple Competition.

http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/funny-quotes-from-blackadder-the-third/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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She Gets Annoyed When You Touch Them
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GentlemanJorge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2017
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This condor made the game winning shot

It was a buzzard beater

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maybemangos
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
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