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batman puns

Barman Puns

A list of puns related to "Barman"

The barman says, “Sorry, we don’t serve faster-than-light particles in here.”

A faster-than-light particle walks into a bar.

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👤︎ u/snrckrd
📅︎ Dec 22 2020
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A German guy walks into a bar and asks for a Martini. The barman asks "dry"?

The guy says "no, just the one"

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👤︎ u/cotswoldboy
📅︎ Nov 23 2020
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A bloke runs in to a bar and says. Quick how tall are penguins? The barman says about three feet. The man groans and says :--

I have just run over a NUN

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👤︎ u/tiger7971
📅︎ Oct 11 2020
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A pirate walks into a bar and the barman says "do you realise that you have a steering wheel down your pants"

The Pirate replies aaarrr it's driving me nuts

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👤︎ u/mrjaxson1111
📅︎ Nov 17 2020
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"I'm sorry," said the barman, "we don't serve time travellers."

A time traveller walks into a bar.

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👤︎ u/Rav4xle
📅︎ May 13 2020
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The barman in the pub looked over at me said, "Your glass is empty. Fancy another one?" "

Why would I want two empty glasses?" I asked

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👤︎ u/AustralianGroan
📅︎ Mar 20 2020
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Why wouldn’t the barman serve Shakespeare?

Because he was bard

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/PositiveCunt
📅︎ Jul 10 2020
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A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and asks the barman....

“Can I have a drink for me and one for the road”

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👤︎ u/KoronaSenpai
📅︎ Apr 07 2020
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A weasel walks in to a bar. "What'll it be?" Asks the barman.

POP Goes the weasel

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👤︎ u/Randyaster
📅︎ Mar 12 2020
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A man walks into a bar with a giraffe, which promptly lays down on the floor. The barman says, “Oi mate, you cant leave that lying there!”

The man says, “It’s not a lion it’s a giraffe”

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👤︎ u/thomsonc014
📅︎ Dec 19 2018
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A man walks into a bar and orders helicopter flavor chips. The barman replies

“sorry mate we only do plain.”

👍︎ 9
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👤︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
📅︎ Jun 07 2019
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Two strips of tarmac are arguing about who is the toughest. They have in idea to fight the shady looking guy in the corner to prove how tough they are. The barman stops them.

I wouldn't mess with him lads. He's a cycle path.

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/callos05
📅︎ Sep 23 2019
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A man walked into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm. He said to the barman " a pint of beer please".

....and one for the road.

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👤︎ u/Blarty97
📅︎ Aug 16 2019
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middle-aged guy next to me in the pub yesterday asked the barman if they have a lighter ....

but they only had matches!

so he took them and said

"they'll do just fine. thank you very ...

match"

and yes, he paused, did the finger gun and winked.

surely he was a dad.

👍︎ 1k
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👤︎ u/i_accidently_reddit
📅︎ Mar 08 2014
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Neon walks into a bar, the barman says "we don't serve noble gasses in here"

Neon doesn't react

👍︎ 30
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👤︎ u/ChazyLamy
📅︎ May 22 2018
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A man walks into a bar with his pet giraffe, the barman asks what he can get them and the man orders a pint for himself and 20 shots for the giraffe, the giraffe necks all 20 shots and falls on the ground, the man goes to leave the bar and the barman says "HEY, you can't leave that lyin there!"

The man says "that's not a lion, that's a giraffe"

👍︎ 19
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👤︎ u/ChazyLamy
📅︎ May 23 2018
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A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and asks the barman....

“Can I have a drink for me and one for the road”

👍︎ 161
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👤︎ u/tpatt83
📅︎ Apr 12 2019
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The barman looked over at me and said, "Your glass is empty. Fancy another one?"

"Why on Earth would I want two empty glasses?" I asked.

👍︎ 30
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👤︎ u/cotswoldboy
📅︎ Oct 04 2019
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The barman said "sorry, we don't serve time travellers"

Two time travellers walk into a bar

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👤︎ u/dennis584
📅︎ May 07 2019
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