Bar Girl Puns

And then a chair… and a table

(Jersey accent) I don't know, Alaska.

Her/she

Guy: You're the most average girl here

Girl: You're so mean

Guy: No, you are

Imma bayou a drink

The girl asks, “is it true that there’s nothing under that kilt of yours?” The Scotsman replies, “why don’t you reach under and see for yourself?” The girl reaches under his kilt and quickly removes her hand. “Dear god, that’s gruesome!”

The Scotsman replied back “Aye, and if you reach up under there again, you’ll see it’s gruesome more.”

The bartender gives it to her.

They walk up to the bartender and order. The girl orders water and the man orders magic water. The girl asks him "What's magic water?" The man replies "Its just like water but when you drink it you can fly." The girl exclaims "I don't believe you, prove it." So the two run up the stairs to the roof and the man jumps off and glides to the ground safely. The girl runs back down the stairs and meets back with the guy. She demands that he should give her some magic water to fly. So he does and the both go back up to the roof and jump off. The guy glides down and lands safely while the girl just feel and died. The guy reentered the bar and the bartender told him "You can be a real dick when you are drunk Superman"

At the end of the evening I said, 'Do you want to go to mine?' She said 'Yes' then looked confused when I handed her a pick axe.

Today I could be a free man !

So I took a shot in the dark.

And she took the night stand with her.

"This is my partner here," she told me, tapping him on the shoulder.

He turned around and I said, "Nice to meet you, Here."

She asked me if i like poetry,

I said “No, but I drink Lambic pintameters.”

So, I gave it to her.

Trike or Treat

Lead singer: and on bass we have "criminal"

Girl leans in to tell me: wonder if he's smooth