B Girl Puns

One of her parents is Cardi-mom

I want to quiz you on it.

First question: What was it called?

A: The Heir to Heaven B: Hi, I’m Up High C: Girls Rule the Afterlife

>!Whatever you answered, it was wrong. It’s Nun of the Above.!<

Billy: "Dad!"

Dad: "Yes Billy, what's wrong?"

Billy: "How do I get good grades?"

Dad: "Well, Billy. To get good grades you have to B paying attention A lot and after Some time you will C that D time and F-ort you spent on homework actually payed off. and then you just have to do that until your E-gr parents can praise you for your hard work.

2 hours later.

Phone: Rings

Dad: "Hello!"

Billy: "So dad, how much money should I give to her?"

Dad: "To who!?"

Billy: "To a girl in my class. You said that to get good grades then all I had to do was to give her money. Attention says it will be fine with 20$, but I don't know."

Me on the phone with my dad - "I got a cat!"

Dad - "What's it's name?"

Me - "Susan."

Dad - "So it's a girl?"

Me - "Of course...her name's Susan. Do you think I'd name a boy cat Susan?"

Dad - "No...I suppose that if it was a boy, it would B. Anthony."

Good one, Dad...

One of my teammates wanted his attention, but had been ignored so far. Then, I witnessed this gold.

Friend: Coach, Coach! Ey!

Coach: B!

Everyone groaned while my coach giggled like a school girl.

MAN LAWS

The International Rules of Manhood

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.

(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.

(c) After wrecking your boss' car.

(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding