Bank Line Puns

Their method for hunting polar bears was the most interesting. They would start a fire out on a deep snow bank, and essentially melt a hole in the snow. Once the hole was big enough they would stop feeding it firewood and let it burnout on its own. Once the fire had gone down and was nothing more than smoldering ashes with a little bit of smoke, they would line the edge of the fire pit with snow peas.

All they had to do from there is hide and wait. Once a bear caught scent of the smoke and starts to investigate, the bear would eventually start eating some of the peas. Then they sneak up behind it and kick it in the ash-hole.

There was an extra zero on the bill, so it ended up being like 70 bucks. Called the customer service at my bank and threw this gem into the conversation :

"I mean I'm just ball parking, but $70 seems a little steep to be frank."

Cue dead silence on the line. I relish these moments.

My Dad has thrown me some pretty good/bad dad jokes in his time... but yesterday he sat me down on the couch and started telling me about a frog who couldn't get a loan from the bank. He looked really concerned and it went something like this...

"... so this frog really just wants a loan, and decides to try one last time. He walks up to the teller, a Mrs Patricia Wak. P.W: Hello sir what can I do for you? F: I'm just after a $30,000 loan. Can you help P.W: Wow, that's a really large loan. What collateral do you have? F: Just this little toy elephant (pulls out from pocket) P.W: I'm afraid that's not going to secure the loan, sir. Do you have anything else? F: No P.W: Well them I'm afraid we can't help you

And the frog starts to well up and cry, he starts howling inconsolably and is an absolute mess F: You don't understand! I need this loan! Please, my name is Froggy Jagger. I come from a long line of Jaggers, my father Mick is good for the money now please help me! P.W: I'm sorry but a little toy elephant is never going to secure you... F: I want to see a manager!!

So Patricia Wak goes and gets her manager, and the frog tells the man about his need for a $30,000 loan. The manager agrees and pulls Patricia aside to explain why...

P.W: I don't understand this guy, what's the deal with the little elephant? M: It's a knick-knack, Patty Wak! Give the frog a loan! His old man's a rolling stone!

Dad then proceeded to slap his knee and laugh wildly while I stood up and walked away.

(I think this joke makes a lot more sense if you're an Australian...)