In Texas it's illegal to serve pie without ice cream.
As a matter of Texan pride; remember the à la mode.
A man is out ice fishing, but not having any luck. But he sees a guy across the lake pulling out fish after fish.
So the man goes over and says “I’ve been watching you catch so many fish today, but I’m getting nothing. What’s your secret?”
The other man says “Mffffmmm mmmm mfffmmmm mmmmm”
The first man says “What?”
The other man spits something into his hand and says “I said, you gotta keep your worms warm!”
My Bluetooth speaker wasn’t working so I threw it into the lake.
How to Catch a Polar Bear: 1)Find a frozen lake 2)Dig a hole in the ice 3)Surround the hole with frozen peas 4)Hide nearby.
When the bear stops to take a pea, kick it in the ice hole!
The other day my dog fell into a lake and was drowning. Then some German guy came out of nowhere and saved his life
After I thanked him, he said to me: "Don't vorry, just dry him off and keep him varm, he vill be fine"
I asked him, "Are you a vet?"
He answered, "Am I vet? I'm soaking"
Where do you learn how to make ice cream?
Most people see two piers by the lake and think it's normal but
why do communist only drink iced tea?
because they hate proper-ty!
Ice cream shops should be called…
This ice truck on my way to work.
An ice cube is widely used to show the changes of matter.
What do you call expensive ice?
Ernie asked his brother if he'd like any ice cream
His brother said "sure Bert".
I’ve been good. No ice cream on Thursday. None on Friday. None on Saturday.
Did you hear about the ice cream van that crashed?
The driver blamed it on the rocky road
Jackie Chan went on a date. What does he say to break the ice?
Couldn’t understand what my ice skating coach was saying at first, but turns out he just wanted me to practice more.
I woke up this morning to find two birds sitting in the sun in our backyard eating ice cream.
They were Basking Robins.
What do you call Walt Disney standing on a frozen lake?
Nobody will upvote a cake joke on my cake day
What would I have if I wrapped ice cream in a tortilla?
What do you call someone whose whole life revolves around ice?
Made my first smoothie but used too much ice.
What's harder than selling ice to an Eskimo?
Selling a vacuum in space.
An ice cream van crashed in the street today
The whole area is coned off.
I am getting concerned. Last week I accidentally swallowed an ice cube
And I still haven't pooped it out.
I can't take my dog to the lake anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.
That's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
How do you make an Ice-T album even cooler?
I used to know what Italians call ice cream in espresso.
I went to a microbrewery and a soft serve ice cream store the other day.
What happened to the three cats who fell through the ice on a frozen lake in Québec?
Should I worry about those ice cubes I dropped?
Nah, it’s just water under the fridge.
If an ice cream van breaks down....
...do they have to put out cones ?
What’s Adrian‘s favorite ice cream
My 5yo blew us away with this original that he came up with all on his own. What do you call two ice dragons?
Twice dragons.
Update: honestly thank you everyone, you guys are totally making this kids day! Distance learning in kindergarten has been rough and he misses seeing his friends pretty hard, so when I told him about this (I was able to use “Wreck-It Ralph : Ralph breaks the Internet” and buzz tube with likes/hearts as a reference) he’s been smiling from ear to ear nonstop since! A million thankyou‘s for the kind words and awards.
When asked if he had family in Salt Lake City, Robert de Niro replied,
If Lake Superior is a wolf and Lake Michigan is a squash, what is Lake Erie?
Can anybody give me some advice to help me removing ice from my windshield? I just tried with a discount card I had In my pocket
Doctor: I think your DNA is backwards.
Did you hear about the man who abandoned his diet, for an ice cream cone?
My coworker said, “Sorry, hold on, my Firefox is frozen.”
So I said, “Not really a Firefox then, is it?”
Thousand and thousands of years ago, during the last ice age, there lived an animal that excelled at trigonometry, geometry, and could recite Pi to 100 decimal places. It was known simply as.....
.....the mammothematician.
What did Ernie say when Bert asked if he wanted some ice cream?
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