Tried a Dad Joke on my grandfather....it backfired.

I walk into his house and he yells, gruffly, "What are you up to?". Seizing my opportunity, I quip back "Ohh about 6 foot 4.". He glares at me for 5 solid seconds and says dryly, "I didn't know they could stack shit that high!". Uncontrollable laughter for the next 5 minutes from him.

RIP Old Man

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2013
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Well that backfired...

Me: "Since its Fathers Day, I get to do whatever I want!"

5 Year Old: "Me too!"

"It doesn't work like that."

"Sure it does! It's son-day!"

Awww nuts.

Edit: 2500! Thanks guys! And on my cake day too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hemingwayfan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2015
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what do you call a dad joke that Backfired?

a bad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moses1Eye
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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My dadjoke backfired...

So my friend was wearing a fish patterned shirt.

Me: "Hey, nice shirt." Him: "Thanks?" Me: "I'm guessing you're wearing it because you think you're such a great catch." Him: sigh "No, I'm just wearing it for the halibut"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SombreroLama
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2014
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His plan backfired
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_roybot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
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Wow, That backfired
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beast_Invasive
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2018
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Well that backfired...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pmkenny1234
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2017
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The Dad Tax

This is a gag that I've been doing to my kids for a few years - ever since they've started needing help with opening food packages or beverages: I grab a piece, grab a fry from their bag, or I'll take a sip from their drink. They usually laughingly say, " DADDY!". I'll respond with, "Hey, its Dad Tax". They'll growl at me about it.

This morning, I realized a new name for this: Dad Valorem Tax. I told this to my kids and wife this morning. The kids didn't really understand the joke but I got a big groan about it from my wife. So, that at least made my day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeGustaDerp
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2021
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A car cruising down a rural country suddenly backfires.

As the engine sputters and shuts down the woman driving the car steers toward a nearby driveway and honks the horn hoping to get the attention of a guy herding cattle in the distance. Sure enough within a minute the man has ridden his horse over to her. He dismounts and gives a happy β€œHello! Sounds like you’re having some car trouble. Can I help at all?” The woman replies that she’s not sure what happened but that she would love some help. They pop the hood and the man says he thinks he can fix the problem but has to run back to his barn to get some tools. The cows have come to see what’s going on and as the farmer gets ready to leave he says β€œDon’t worry about your car. I’ll have it running in a few minutes. Just head over there to the shade of the tree by the fence. The cows are all friendly. Bessy there likes to have her ear rubbed, Albert likes to look at people, and Mare will just moo a grand ole tune.” All of it is true and within 20 minutes the woman is happily sitting in her car with the engine running better than before. β€œThank you so much, you’re a life saver,” she says. The man smiles and lets out a big laugh before saying β€œI’m glad I could help. But I’m no life saver. I’m just a jolly rancher.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/foyeldagain
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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Dad Joke - Ultimate Backfire

For as long I can think of, anytime I would take my family out for supper at a restaurant, when our server would bring us the check I would in my best calm and collected demeanor advise our server "Oh table #?? said they were picking this up for us tonight", to which most servers just give a ya right smile or a simple haha nice try sir.

Well on this most recent adventure I see the check coming and get all primed and plot it all out. The server politely slides the check to me, I so graciously put my hand on it and slide it back with my recited lines delivered so perfectly "Oh yes I should have told you sooner that table 16 has offered to pick up the check tonight". Well our server burst out laughing, which to us was a surprise as its not as hilarious as she is now making it. Well when she finally stops laughing enough to talk, she so wonderfully delivers the message, "thats good to know sir - cause your sitting at table 16!"

Jokes on me! But it made for a great night of laugh at dad.

Edit - "demeanor" - where the frick was auto correct on that one. thx Enders!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dontwanttosleep
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2014
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Dad joke backfire.

So I am divorced. My kids live in a different state than me at this time. This morning I called to talk to my daughter (5) about her getting into cheerleading. About halfway through the conversation, I dropped an old gem from my Dad. It ruined the phone call.

Me : "Hey baby girl, you wanna hear a story"

Her : "What now?"

Me : (giggling inside because the tone in her voice already said " FUCK, walked right into this.")

"I was driving to work the other day and an ambulance drove past me fast and a side door opened up. A box fell out, so I stopped to get it. Guess what was in it baby girl?"

Her : "What?"

Me : "A human toe."

Her : falling for it. Dad's know this sound in the voice.

"Eeeewwww. Then what?"

Me : "I called the tow truck!" FUCKING BOOM

Her : "Ok I'm hanging up now, byeeeeeeeeeieeee."

And she really hung up. I love to think she is cursing me in her little head right now...but she'll use it later. They always do.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pimpnocchio
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2015
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Dad Joke Backfire

Dad joke backfire. Agate hunting with my wife and the kids at a beach on the north shore of Lake Superior. We were finding lots of little agates. I told the kids the baby ones are called baguettes. The kids proceeded to discover the similar names for Mother and Father agates. :/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hunterlaker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2017
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I tried to burn my friend a new arsehole by slipping chili peppers into his food, but things didn't go as planned when he switched dishes on me.

It backfired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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My so dadjoked the pizzaguy

We drove home from a visit at my parents' house and decided to pick up a pizza on our way home.

My SO orders the pizza and the guy asks her how she wants it sliced.

Pizzaguy "Do you want 4 or 8 slices?"

My SO "Just 4 please. I don't think I can eat 8 slices"

Me and the pizza guy eyeroll

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombieMolester
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2016
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"I want a tattoo going down my spine, but I'll let you do anything you want," my son told the tattoo man. The tattoo man agreed to it and ended up tattooing an enormous gun my son's his spine.

Well, I guess that backfired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
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My son is immune to dad jokes

I'm a mother so it's probably why, but my poor attempt at dad jokes always backfire.

An example from today:

Son: I'm thirsty!

Me: Hi thirsty, I'm mummy!

Son: Hi thirsty, I'm [son's name]!

Godamn 3 year olds not understanding great humour!

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
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I'm Hungry.

Pleased to meet you hungry! I'm dad!

... face palm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatodavid
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2013
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Dad joked the old man today. (Then got one in return)

So I'm out bowling with my dad, he sits down and says "I'm freaking tired" of course I have to say "hi freaking tired, I'm OP, have you seen my dad?" He looks at me with complete disappointment, then says, "yes I have seen your dad, and are you sure you have your name right OP? Because in pretty sure that you're grounded"

So yea, that backfired. GG dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adoni23
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2015
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Dad joked by my own daughter... I'm raising her well.

Driving into our neighborhood, windows open, start smelling skunk.

Me: Ugh, why is there skunk smell so far into the city?

Her: Maybe someone was keeping one as a pet, and it... Backfired!

Me: proud groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TapThatSAS
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2014
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She's a keeper

My girlfriend and I were arguing this morning.

The kind of argument where only one of us is upset and the other thinks its hilarious.

To taunt me, she asked "How mad are you"?

I tried being tough when I replied "soooo mad right now".

With a grin she asks "like super mad"?

Not seeing the trap before me I respond "Yes, I am super mad"!

This backfired horribly as she proceeded to take the towel on her head and tie it around her neck as a cape. Then she ran circles in the kitchen with her arms extended, pretending to fly yelling "You're a bird! You're a plane! Youuuuuuuu're SUPER MAAAD!"

Pretty sure she forgot I was even there.

She wins this round.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tbey52
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2014
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