Did you hear that Thanos was committed to an insane asylum? It's true.

He snapped.

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👤︎ u/jfshay
📅︎ Sep 18 2020
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What is the quickest way to get to the mental asylum?

Just go around the bend.

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👤︎ u/Elleden
📅︎ Jan 20 2020
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When a coin goes from Russia to the USA seeking asylum it is Metal Defecting.
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📅︎ Dec 09 2019
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Why was the train sent to the insane asylum after being convicted of first degree murder?

He had a LOCO MOTIVE

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👤︎ u/DDevil37
📅︎ Oct 09 2018
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What do you call hiking trails around an asylum?

Psychopaths

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📅︎ Oct 23 2018
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Hear about the midget with the 40lb balls that escaped the insane asylum?

He's half nuts!

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📅︎ Jun 28 2018
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My gay friend was admitted to the asylum yesterday.

I feel horrible that the only jackets they have are straight.

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👤︎ u/MrBooks72
📅︎ Oct 03 2018
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What snacks are served at mental asylums?

Nuts.

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📅︎ Nov 14 2015
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How are insane asylums and rookeries the same?

It's where you go if you're a-raven!

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👤︎ u/AnitaRide
📅︎ Apr 24 2018
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A man's son knocked a glass onto the floor and broke it, so the man was taken to an insane asylum...

...he wasn't mad, just disappointed.

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👤︎ u/Cryn0n
📅︎ May 10 2018
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An employee at the insane asylum caught a patient trying to escape...

...He busted a nut.

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📅︎ Mar 06 2017
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Where does Russia hide their asylum seekers?

in a snow den

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📅︎ Mar 09 2016
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What do you call a Dog pound in Gotham city?

Barkham Asylum.

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👤︎ u/Uglarinn
📅︎ Jan 25 2020
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Shitty Band Names

Can you guys come up with toilet-based puns for musicians/band names? Like Poo Fighters, Turdy Seconds from Mars, sTool, Pee Diddy, Our Lady Piss, Fart Minor, Michael Pooplé. That's all I have for now :D

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👤︎ u/ellynmeh
📅︎ Mar 14 2016
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What happens when frogs go mad?

They get kermitted to an asylum.

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📅︎ Mar 09 2019
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Where do mad cheesemakers go?

An Emmental asylum.

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📅︎ Mar 21 2017
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My Grandad dropped this one at dinner...

An Official is inspecting a lunatic asylum to find one inmate to be released for the Asylum's anniversary, after several hours of visiting the numerous wards he enters one where he finds a man sitting on his bed carving a wooden block. He approaches the man and asks him what he was carving, the man on the bed replies that he carves wooden clothes pegs, and that each day he makes around 5. "Well that certainly is impressive" the inspector tells the man, "I think I shall recommend you to the warden for release." The inspector then notices a man hanging from the ceiling, "What is he doing up there?" he again questions the man on the bed. "Oh, he thinks he's a light bulb!" The man on the bed replies, "Well, shouldn't we get him down?" the Inspector asks, shocked, "Don't be daft!", remarks the Man on the bed, "I can't work in the dark!"

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📅︎ Jul 30 2013
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