Breaking News: Archaeologists believe that they've uncovered a cache of pencils that belonged to William Shakespeare. A spokesperson for the dig said they're so badly chewed on the ends,
we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B.
Archaeologists found the remains of the 12 apostles...
They're now called 'The 12 a-FOSSILS'
Archaeologists gathered to find the leg bones of ancient men
Archaeologists have recently found evidence of an ancient civilization that worshipped broken kitchenware.
They're calling it mess-up-a-pot-amaia.
I really appreciated my archaeologist girlfriend's tent at the excavation site...
Mess with an archaeologist;
You should never date an archaeologist,
Because they're dating other people/Because they keep bringing up the past.
How did the archaeologist know that Cleopatra wasn't feeling well?
Archaeologists found traces of Trinitrotoluene in a T-Rex skeleton. Scientists have since determined that T-Rex's muscles used the compound to function.
Why did the archaeologist have to get a new job?
Because her career was in ruins!
I know an archaeologist who found a human leg bone during an excavation. The other archaeologists got excited and went over to help him.
Turned out to be quite the shin dig.
As an archaeologist, I could instantly tell the people of the ancient world were into sweet things...
They used a mortar and PEZ-tle.
Yeah, it's dumb but it sure beats a repost!
The archaeologist had majored in geology in college,
but he was also a history miner.
Never become an archaeologist
unless you want your career to be in ruins.
Archaeologists in Egypt have unearthed a tomb containing a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.
They believe it is the remains of the long lost Pharaoh Rocher.
What do meteorologists, biologists, and archaeologists have in common?
They all get the gist of their field.
What's the difference between an archaeologist and an ichthyologist ?
One mucks around in fountains....
Why was the archaeologist so depressed?
Because his life was in ruins
Two archaeologists were deeply in love
They went to a site where rumor states a rare dinosaur bone was there
So the man said to his wife.. "I've got a bone to pick, with you~"
(Correction: they are not archaeologists they are paleontologist!)
Never marry an archaeologist
They're always digging up the past.
Archaeologist digging in a Pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts
Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche
Why did the mammoth get in trouble with the archaeologist for texting the dinosaur?
Because the mammoth was to young to predate the dinosaur.
Why are mummies so hard for archaeologists to find?
Because they’re all kept under wraps.
Did you hear about the archaeologist that got arrested?
His career is now in ruins.
What did the high archaeologist say to his colleagues upon discovering a trove of dinosaur bones?
Archaeologists are conducting groundbreaking research.
Archaeologists have discovered an oil stain that might be more than a thousand years old.
What did the archaeologists say when he found remnants of Jesus’s feces
2 archaeologist are looking for proof of prehistoric man
After a few hours of digging, one of the archaeologist bursts out laughing, the other one asks, "what's so funny?" The archaeologist stops laughing holds up an arm and says "well, I found this humerus"
Archaeologists have discovered that putting the burial chambers inside the pyramids took a lot less time than previously thought.
It was literally a Tomb In It job
what did the archaeologist say when accused of lying about fossils?
Why didn't the archaeologist family like his music?
An archaeologist was examining an ancient looking post in a field...
Carved on to the post was some roman-looking words:
TOTI
EMUL
ESTO
After two hours of analysing the words, he was approached by the farmer that owned the field.
"What are you looking at chap?" Said the farmer.
"I'm trying to figure out the meaning of the writing on this post... it looks Roman! This could be a great find!" The archaeologist replied.
"Let me take a look" says the farmer as he analyses the carving.
"It says "To tie mules to" you silly twat".
Credit to Stephen Fry on No Such Thing As A Fish podcast
Edit - Formatting
Did you hear about the failed archaeologist?
Why did the archaeologist told his colleagues to stay back at the excavation and hope for the best?
Because there were remains to be seen.
One from my Archaeologist pop.
Dad: picking up a regular rock
You know this is a Native American sexstone?
Me: How come?
Dad: It's just a fucking rock!
Why did the archaeologist cry at the supermarket?
Because he lost his mummy.
Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.
They believe it's Pharaoh Roche.
Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts...
They believe it is Pharaoh Rocher...
Did you hear about the disgraced archaeologist?
Why was the archaeologist depressed?
Don't become an archaeologist
Their lives are all in ruins.
Archaeologists on a dig in Egypt have uncovered a mummy dipped in chocolate and hazelnuts.
Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Rocher.
My daughter said she could never be an archaeologist
So I said - You don't dig it?
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