Breaking News: Archaeologists believe that they've uncovered a cache of pencils that belonged to William Shakespeare. A spokesperson for the dig said they're so badly chewed on the ends,

we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PavilionFlux
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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Archaeologists found the remains of the 12 apostles...

They're now called 'The 12 a-FOSSILS'

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrs_Ross
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
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Archaeologists gathered to find the leg bones of ancient men

It was a real shindig

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Billy-Stoofa
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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Archaeologists have recently found evidence of an ancient civilization that worshipped broken kitchenware.

They're calling it mess-up-a-pot-amaia.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Akuba101
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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I really appreciated my archaeologist girlfriend's tent at the excavation site...

I dug her dig's digs.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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Mess with an archaeologist;

And you're history.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sememva
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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You should never date an archaeologist,

Because they're dating other people/Because they keep bringing up the past.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/code_punk_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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How did the archaeologist know that Cleopatra wasn't feeling well?

They found her coffin.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NathanielleS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Archaeologists found traces of Trinitrotoluene in a T-Rex skeleton. Scientists have since determined that T-Rex's muscles used the compound to function.

TNT. It's dino might.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/veive
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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Why did the archaeologist have to get a new job?

Because her career was in ruins!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schiggy182
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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I know an archaeologist who found a human leg bone during an excavation. The other archaeologists got excited and went over to help him.

Turned out to be quite the shin dig.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tenglempls
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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As an archaeologist, I could instantly tell the people of the ancient world were into sweet things...

They used a mortar and PEZ-tle.

Yeah, it's dumb but it sure beats a repost!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
The archaeologist had majored in geology in college,

but he was also a history miner.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strawbalicious
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Never become an archaeologist

unless you want your career to be in ruins.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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Archaeologists in Egypt have unearthed a tomb containing a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.

They believe it is the remains of the long lost Pharaoh Rocher.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnster1991
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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What do meteorologists, biologists, and archaeologists have in common?

They all get the gist of their field.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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What's the difference between an archaeologist and an ichthyologist ?

One mucks around in fountains....

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagicGuy66
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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Why was the archaeologist so depressed?

Because his life was in ruins

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumboltQuadrant
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2017
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Two archaeologists were deeply in love

They went to a site where rumor states a rare dinosaur bone was there

So the man said to his wife.. "I've got a bone to pick, with you~"

(Correction: they are not archaeologists they are paleontologist!)

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grandpa_Gunmam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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Never marry an archaeologist

They're always digging up the past.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rey_lumen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Archaeologist digging in a Pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts

Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Roche

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Christopher1295
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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Why did the mammoth get in trouble with the archaeologist for texting the dinosaur?

Because the mammoth was to young to predate the dinosaur.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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Why are mummies so hard for archaeologists to find?

Because they’re all kept under wraps.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lauren_Crabtree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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Did you hear about the archaeologist that got arrested?

His career is now in ruins.

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/74CK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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What did the high archaeologist say to his colleagues upon discovering a trove of dinosaur bones?

Oh wow! Dig it, man!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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Archaeologists are conducting groundbreaking research.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheElvenKeys
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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Archaeologists have discovered an oil stain that might be more than a thousand years old.

It is Ancient Grease.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
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What did the archaeologists say when he found remnants of Jesus’s feces

HOLY CRAP

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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2 archaeologist are looking for proof of prehistoric man

After a few hours of digging, one of the archaeologist bursts out laughing, the other one asks, "what's so funny?" The archaeologist stops laughing holds up an arm and says "well, I found this humerus"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFridge6
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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Archaeologists have discovered that putting the burial chambers inside the pyramids took a lot less time than previously thought.

It was literally a Tomb In It job

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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what did the archaeologist say when accused of lying about fossils?

Hey, those artifacts ...

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrYegg3000
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the archaeologist family like his music?

They weren't digging it.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucidus_somniorum
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
🚨︎ report
An archaeologist was examining an ancient looking post in a field...

Carved on to the post was some roman-looking words:

TOTI

EMUL

ESTO

After two hours of analysing the words, he was approached by the farmer that owned the field. "What are you looking at chap?" Said the farmer.

"I'm trying to figure out the meaning of the writing on this post... it looks Roman! This could be a great find!" The archaeologist replied.

"Let me take a look" says the farmer as he analyses the carving.

"It says "To tie mules to" you silly twat".

Credit to Stephen Fry on No Such Thing As A Fish podcast

Edit - Formatting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InkJetPrinters
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the failed archaeologist?

He hit rock bottom

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WithinTheKrypt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the archaeologist told his colleagues to stay back at the excavation and hope for the best?

Because there were remains to be seen.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sgrogee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2016
🚨︎ report
One from my Archaeologist pop.

Dad: picking up a regular rock You know this is a Native American sexstone? Me: How come? Dad: It's just a fucking rock!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yoshi3791
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2015
🚨︎ report
Why did the archaeologist cry at the supermarket?

Because he lost his mummy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/turbobakis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2014
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Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.

They believe it's Pharaoh Roche.

πŸ‘︎ 304
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πŸ‘€︎ u/woodceilingfan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
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Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts...

They believe it is Pharaoh Rocher...

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aabesh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
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Did you hear about the disgraced archaeologist?

His career was in ruins.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TehIrishSoap
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Why was the archaeologist depressed?

His career was in ruins!

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigRisch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2016
🚨︎ report
Don't become an archaeologist

Their lives are all in ruins.

πŸ‘︎ 136
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jzpenny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2016
🚨︎ report
Archaeologists on a dig in Egypt have uncovered a mummy dipped in chocolate and hazelnuts.

Experts believe it to be Pharaoh Rocher.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/86Damacy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
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My daughter said she could never be an archaeologist

So I said - You don't dig it?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Justanaveragedad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2018
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