Applauder Puns

It really was a ground breaking discovery.

Strange...usually Australians boo meringue

She excitedly says yes, and the boy spends the entirety of the next day preparing for the big day.

The first thing he does to make it extra fancy is to rent a limousine for a day (yes, he is rich), but when he arrives at the rental center, he notices that many other people had the same idea. There was an enormous line that stretched out the building. Nevertheless, this boy was determined to make this night a special night, and waited for hours. Luckily, he succeeded in the end, and rented a shiny black limo. He was starting to get really excited.

After that, he goes to the tailor to pick up a brand new suit and tie to look as sharp as possible. But once again, the line for that wrapped around the block and forced the boy to wait another long hour. He sighed, but still waited in line, as he was quite persistent and knew it would be well worth it in the end. In the end, though, he got a perfect suit that fit him well. No wrinkles, no nothing; it was just pure handsomeness.

Then, the moment came. In his limousine, he once again drove up to his crush's house, well-dressed in the brand new suit he just bought. She came out looking stunning as well in an aqua dress that sparkled in the evening sunlight. Excited as ever, she leaped into the fancy limo and rode to prom with him, ready for the big night.

When they arrived, however, there was yet another long line into the ballroom, as many people needed to be accepted. It was quite a busy night. After half an hour of waiting, the couple finally made it through and began dancing. It was all going really well, and everyone was having quite a grand time.

A few hours later, they became thirsty and went to get a drink. Both him and his girlfriend were in the mood for fruit punch, but nobody else seemed to want it. When they entered the snack bar, they noticed more long lines of people wanting to get other snacks and drinks, but surprisingly... there was no punchline.

Congee-rat-lations 😬😬😬

There was no body, arms or legs to him but he was functioning normal and his parents loved him. On his 21st birthday his dad took him to a bar, bought him a beer and gave it to him to drink. Suddenly his torso grew out of his head. Around him amazed the bar started chanting “Drink, Drink!” His dad got a second beer and gave it to him, this time he grew arms and hands. The stunned crowd all chanted again “Drink, Drink” He got his third beer and drank it himself with his new hands, suddenly legs and feet grew. The crowd applauded and cheered. The son couldn’t believe it and started to run. He ran around in circles and then out of the bar. Unfortunately he ran into the road, got hit by a truck and was killed instantly. The barman looked at his dad, sighed and said “He should have quit while he was a head”

It takes balls to do what they do

Lettuce romaine calm

He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is”

A jolly rancher

I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask...

How much food would a good truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?

It's unthinkable.

Because they're neigh-sayers.

It was riveting.

Cleavesdropping.

Shoutout to my wife for dropping this one on me.

Edit: About 6 people have responded with "peek a boob" already. I applaud the effort, but to me that would be better nickname for nip slips.

"I usually go by either." "Okay Either, nice to meet you!"

A slice of Apple Pie in Jamaica is $2.00 . It is $2.50 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

a labracadabrador

https://i.redd.it/y1m1za6ajzgz.jpg

Credit goes to /u/Yakev

4 words: Venison's dear, isn't it?

3 words: Stationary store... moves.

2 words: Dwarf... shortage

(c) Jimmy Carr - That magnificent basterd.

I applaud these jokes because each of them is setup + punchline as well as a pun!

People applauding because you got hit really hard.

// I was a little dissatisfied with the results of my latest trip to the barbershop yesterday.

Friend this morning: I actually kinda like it!

Me: You know, I slept on it, and I think it's grown on me a hair.

// Me applauding and high-fiving myself internally.

Because the mountain climber is a scalar

So I get back home from college this weekend and my mom was explaining to me how we had a pretty bad ant infestation coming in through our kitchen wall.

My dad proceeds to tell me that he's gone through two bags of ant bait (they pick the food up and bring it back to the hive) already.

I say, oh wow you must be getting pretty good at killing ants then, and he says "I guess you can just call me the master-baiter". I had to stop and literally applaud him. My mom just rolled her eyes as usual, but I have to give it to the old man this time.

I said, "I won't stand for it".

My bf says "But would you sit for it?"

I told him he wasn't biologically a dad and it wasn't fair for him to be making dadjokes. He said two years as my children's "dad" was enough training.

The English professor went first. He thought for a minute, then stepped up to the mic and said:

Slowly across the desert sand, Marched a lonely caravan, Men on camel, two by two, Destination; Timbuktu.

The audience applauded. Then it was the Native American's turn. He stepped up to the mic and said:

Me and Tim a huntin' went. Met three gals in a pop-up tent. They were three, we were two, I bucked one, Tim bucked two.

My dad's favourite joke:

"See that cemetary over there? Did you know that nobody living within a 1 kilometer (mile) radius is allowed to be buried there!"

"But why dad?"

"Because it's illegal to bury people that are still living"

My wife was reading one of those touching (read: sappy) Christmastime stories to the kids before bed tonight. She was getting a bit teary-eyed by the end, and was having trouble seeing the pages.

Wife: "Sorry, kids, my eyes got all leaky."

7yo: "Oh, your eyes have a leak in them?"

Wife: "Yeah."

7yo: "How did you even get a vegetable in there?"

Wife and I applaud. This is the kid who usually hates my dad jokes.

So me and my grandparents are very close and we go out to eat at least once a month. One day we went to a restaurant that had a special on Natty Light. He orders one and I ask him, "Of all the beer they have on tap why would you order Natty Light?" To which he responds. "Natural Light is like making love in a canoe" I give him a confused look. "It's fuckin' near water!"

I applauded.

My brother came over after a few weeks of being away and my cats were going crazy, attacking each other and just being really excited. I say to my brother "Man the cats have been really going crazy since you got here." To which my dad said "Yeah you must be a CATalyst or something." My brother and I applauded.

...Australians usually boo meringue

I was shocked. Usually Australians boo meringue.

I was surprised. Usually Australians boo meringue.

I was confused because I thought Australians usually boo meringue.

I was shocked. Usually Australians boo meringue.

I was surprised, as Australian's usually boo meringue.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

Complete waste of money. All he does is stand there applauding and saying he loves how smooth it is.