What do you call a happy Vladimir Putin?

Gladimir Putin

Came up with this in the car yesterday night on the way to seven eleven and I’m proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/machupichu189
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
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Vladimir Putin said Russian vaccines are as reliable as ak-47

Now, no one will refuse to take a shot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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Have you heard about Vladimir Putin’s Jamaican cousin?

His name is Ras Putin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_spill_things
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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What did Vladimir Putin's followers tell his opposers?

Quit Putin him down!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyfavoriteThings0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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What do you call it when Vladimir Putin is arguing with someone?

Disputin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nazisonmoon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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Vladimir Putin would make a great Vice President.

He really can see Russia from his house.

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πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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Why does Vladimir Putin always look so stressed?

He’s Russian!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brimaaz
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song?

Crimea River.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stanleykubrick747
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
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I think my girlfriend is related to Vladimir Putin...

She’s always Russian me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/delgadophotos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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You hear about Donald Trump smashing sub atomic particles together with Vladimir Putin?

He's a large hadron colluder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ooooohpippa
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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What did Vladimir Putin say to all the angry Ukrainians?

Crimea River.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DidlyDeePotato
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2015
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My dad's from today: What comes before Vladimir Putin?

Vladimir eating a bean burrito.


Facepalm dad.

He also had one and I will quote:


"What do Dateline, Anderson Cooper 360 & 20/20 have in common?"

"I don't know dad. Can we just have lunch?"

"The first two are news shows and the third is what your mother drank for breakfast....Get it? Like MadDog 20/20."

Then, arm to God, he went

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lsirius
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2013
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So this is what i came up with atleast i think I did!

You know why Vladimir keeps getting elected as the president of mother Russia?

Because he be Putin alot of effort! Badum tsss

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amanhasnonameee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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A man walks into a bar in Canada...

The bar tender says, "What can I do for ya eh?" To which the man replies, "How's aboot a pint of lager?" The bartender hands him his beer. The man then asks, pointing at a crying Russian man at the opposite end of the bar, "What's the deal with him?" "Him? Oh, that's just Vladimir Putin."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Memedian
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2016
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Please help me with Puns related to Russian Leaders (and Roller Derby)

I am working on a set of signs for a roller derby bout. the team theme is russian army and I am trying to make propaganda like signs for each of the big russian leaders from the past.

I have:

Quit Stalin, Bring on the Derby

Putin on the Hits

Looking for some for:

-Vladimir Lenin

-Leonid Brezhnev

-Nikita Khrushchev

-Mikhail Gorbachev

Anyone got anything?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimdier
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2014
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So there's a wood pecker in my backyard...

Me: "Hey, it's Vladimir the wood pecker!" Group of friends: "Why Vladimir?"

"Because he won't stop putin' his beak in other bird's trees."

Collective groan achieved.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2015
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