Vladimir Putin Puns

Gladimir Putin

Came up with this in the car yesterday night on the way to seven eleven and I’m proud.

Now, no one will refuse to take a shot

His name is Ras Putin.

Quit Putin him down!

Disputin.

He really can see Russia from his house.

He’s Russian!

Crimea River.

She’s always Russian me.

He's a large hadron colluder.

Crimea River.

Vladimir eating a bean burrito.

Facepalm dad.

He also had one and I will quote:

"What do Dateline, Anderson Cooper 360 & 20/20 have in common?"

"I don't know dad. Can we just have lunch?"

"The first two are news shows and the third is what your mother drank for breakfast....Get it? Like MadDog 20/20."

Then, arm to God, he went

You know why Vladimir keeps getting elected as the president of mother Russia?

Because he be Putin alot of effort! Badum tsss

The bar tender says, "What can I do for ya eh?" To which the man replies, "How's aboot a pint of lager?" The bartender hands him his beer. The man then asks, pointing at a crying Russian man at the opposite end of the bar, "What's the deal with him?" "Him? Oh, that's just Vladimir Putin."

I am working on a set of signs for a roller derby bout. the team theme is russian army and I am trying to make propaganda like signs for each of the big russian leaders from the past.

I have:

Quit Stalin, Bring on the Derby

Putin on the Hits

Looking for some for:

-Vladimir Lenin

-Leonid Brezhnev

-Nikita Khrushchev

-Mikhail Gorbachev

Anyone got anything?

Me: "Hey, it's Vladimir the wood pecker!" Group of friends: "Why Vladimir?"

"Because he won't stop putin' his beak in other bird's trees."

Collective groan achieved.