A man was poisoned after eating an appetizer at a local restaurant.

Police are investigating a possible hummus side.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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What do you call appetizers at a murder mystery party?

Murd'Oeurves

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πŸ‘€︎ u/quinoabrogle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Indian restaurant just gave me a peice of flatbread as an appetizer...

...it was a naan starter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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Man wins award after he died eating appetizers at a Mediterranean restaurant

It was a Post-Hummus award

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shankapotomus007
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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I suggested to my wife that we make some Indian bread for a group dinner appetizer.

It was a total naan starter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/penultimate_polka
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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What do you call appetizers at a cannibal restaurant?

Finger Food

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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How much does the average Chinese appetizer weigh?

Wonton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wilkc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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This happened tonight. Dinner at a Japanese restaurant. My appetizer was a tuna taco topped with wakeme

Singing β€œWakeme up before you go go” apparently wasn’t as hysterical to everyone else.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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What is the female body builder’s favorite appetizer?

Buff chick dip

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Souplorde
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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Never get bread for an appetizer when you go out for Indian food

It's a naan-starter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmdeemer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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I won’t even consider ordering an appetizer at Indian restaurants

It’s a total naan starter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
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What is Pac-Man's favorite appetizer at Mexican restaurants?

Chips and guaca-guaca-guaca-guaca.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alpha_1100001
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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I went to a Chinese food restaurant and the appetizers got me really high

That’s the last time I order the pot stickers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PomPom1990
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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Tried Indian food for the first time. They recommended the Chicken Pakora appetizer, but I was having none of it.

For me it was a Naan starter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ntwiles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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What do you call appetizers made from human meat?

Canibbles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CineKayla
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
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What's an epileptic's most despised appetizer?

Seizure salad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marimochan96
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2016
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Oscar Party Appetizers imgur.com/gallery/YkC05
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chattahoochee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2018
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What is the favorite appetizer of scottish people?

Gaelic Bread

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KennyTheDownsTigr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2016
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We went to an Indian restaurant and the waiter told us we couldn't get bread with our meal, only as an appetizer.

That was a naan starter for me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dedrityl
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
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I was at an Indian restaurant and I asked about the appetizers.

The server said that was a naan starter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AJWILLIKERS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2015
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We went for dinner last night, and I ordered some escargot as an appetizer...

My dad asked whether I didn't want the escar-stay, since we were just starting our meal.

The waitress laughed; everyone else groaned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shadowthunder
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2014
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[Meta] The real purpose of dad jokes

Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.

But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."

It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.

You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.

In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.

This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Permatato
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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Eating dinner with a group of friends this weekend and the oyster appetizer was at the other end of the table. 'Can you get me an oyster?'

"Sorry, they're all gone."

"Aww shucks!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RagsMaloney
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2016
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Asked my dad if I could try his appetizer at a Mexican place

"Sorry, it's nacho cheese"

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2013
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Actual underappreciated dad joke

Still one of my best so here's the set up.

I take my wife on a cruise for her birthday. Each night during dinner they have a section of things you would not normally try but you're on a cruise so try it. Anyway one night they had braised ox tongue. So I order it and get a side eye from the wife while doing so. It arrives and I had correctly anticipated her question. Anyway here's the conversation...

Braised ox tongue appetizer is set before me. I cut a small piece and put in it my mouth and begin to chew.

Wife: Well, how is it?!? Me: (slowly looking up) it's... tasty.
W: Did you really order that just to make that joke? Me: yes, yes I did.

In all actuality it was quite good.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/davedin3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Her: This isn’t working between us. For starters, I’m sick of your stupid jokes.

Me: I see. And for the main course?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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Dad and daughter come into the restaurant I work at. He was crackin me up the whole time.

They are looking through the menu and the dad points to the falafel appetizer.

Dad: How do you pronounce that one?

Me: Falafel?

Dad: No actually I feel great! Just a little bit hungry..

Daughter: (Face palm)

.

EDIT: falafel sort of sounds like feel awful.

.

and again..

.

Dad orders his daughter a slice of cake for dessert.

Me: (to daughter) Here's your dessert. and (to the Dad) I brought you a fork in case you wanted some too.

Dad: Thanks! I love fork! (begins to pretend to eat fork)

Daughter: (absolutely mortified face of embarrassment.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Riggy60
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2013
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DUCK!

When I was waiting tables in a French bistro, I had a gentleman order the duck confit appetizer, followed by the roast duck entree.

As I cleared his dinner, he said, "Now you can bring me my third duck course."

I said, "I'm afraid I haven't got a duck dessert, Sir."

He said, "No, no - the bill!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasp449
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2014
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Can you guys lend me a ham?

I saw this Pun earlier today and it got me thinking that I want to have a pun potluck. So far I can make the punchline of u/KennyTheDownsTigr pun and some Evil Spirits for us to slug.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JancenD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2016
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How much room does it take to grow a fungus?

As mushroom as possible!

(By my actual dad, to my girlfriend, as she was eating some appetizer soup at a Hibachi restaurant.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/memcginn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2017
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When I used to work at a restaurant...

For awhile there in university, I worked as an appetizer cook for a higher end restaurant. At the end of some shifts I'd make use of the staff discount and cook up some calamari or make a sushi roll for myself.

Sometimes my GF (now wife) would join me in this post-shift snack. When she would ask something equivalent to, "How was your shift?" I'd often respond mid-bite and say in a snooty French accent, "I ate my work!" She's been groaning for almost 20 years now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2016
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Father's Day Dinner

Mom made Dad stuffed mushrooms as an appetizer for dinner because it is one of his favorite foods. So we're sitting around, eating our mushrooms when...

Mom: Kevin [brother], you don't want any mushrooms.

Kevin: grumble

Dad: He's just not a fungi.

groans all around

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KattOBrien
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2014
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Made my dad proud tonight

We went to a hibachi place for dinner and i ordered miso soup as part of my appetizer.

Mom: Why did you get soup? You know this meal is going to fill you up.

Me: Well, i guess because miso hungry.

My dad did the "not bad" face to me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrjanuary
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2014
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Dinner Dadjoke

Having Indian food with good flatbread.

Me: "I'm glad we didn't have the bread for an appetizer tonight."

Family: "What, why?"

Me: "Would have been a total Naan-starter..."

Much eye rolling and begrudging groans followed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mountainwalker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2014
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I took this girl I was seeing out for some Indian food today.

Not being well-acquainted with Indian food, we ordered an appetizer at random. It was deep fried and we couldn't really tell what was in it.

Her: For all we know, we could be eating chicken eyes right now.

Me: Nah, I'm pretty sure I know how they look.

She sighed, but failed in stifling her smile.

I'm only twenty two, but I can feel the dadforce growing in me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tehgreatiam
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2015
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Got dad joked by my waitress

Me: "We're gonna get an appetizer of wings to split with each other"

Her: "Ok what else?"

Me: "To eat I'll have the Hot Mess burger"

Her: "So you're not gonna eat the wings?"

Walked right into that one

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PurpleKevinHayes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2015
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Dadjoked a friend at a funeral--I Regret Nothing

At a funeral reception recently a friend of mine grabbed a cucumber, honeydew appetizer. I remarked: "are those for the melancholy????". (Un)fortunately I was not forcibly removed from the reception; I showed myself out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Herbert_Westfall
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2015
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My dad, the waiter...

My dad waited tables to pay his way through college, and he tells a story about one customer who'd made a scene upon entering the restaurant and seemed to be a dickhead generally.

(Guy sits down)

Dad: Welcome to (insert restaurant name), can I get you anything to start out? An appetizer?

Guy: Well, how's your cook?

Dad: Oh, he's great.

Guy: No. I mean how long's he been cooking?

Dad: About two... two and a half years. But he should be just about done by now.

The guy was pissed...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ambrady20
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
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Had a string of dad jokes at dinner today

First I should preface that the restaurant we went to had a sucker with every meal. They also had a plate of pickles for appetizers. So naturally we got some pickles and fries for appetizers and I ordered some beer battered fish sticks for my main meal. But for some reason the main course came out before the appetizers, so there was some debate as to whether or not they should even bring out the appetizers.

Me: "Sounds like we're in a bit of a pickle."

Others: Groans.

Meal continues and naturally people are curious how everybody's food is.

Friend: "Tabbou, how is your food?"

Me: "I don't know... It takes kinda... fishy..."

Friend: "Tabbouuuuu..."

Finally, as we're getting out our chairs to leave, my friend holds up her sucker and asks, "Does anybody want this?"

Me: "Yeah, I'm a real sucker for them."

Friend: "Tabou, stop."

Other random customers sitting near us, "Hey, you're a sucker for these? Take ours!"

I scored four suckers tonight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tabbou
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2014
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Why did the Indian restaurant take their bread off the appetizer menu?

It was a Naan starter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeffreyPetersen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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I went to an Indian restaurant and they didn’t have my favorite appetizer

It was a Naan Starter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Souplorde
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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