Apnea Puns

Then we'd call her Snora the Explorer.

Wife: Sighing...."My mask is falling off!" Me: Do you want some masking tape?

So, I've been infuriating my wife with dadjokes for some time now. Phrases such as "I hate you" and "please don't ever speak again" are all-too-common.

Recently, my wife measured my size for a piece of a breathing machine that attaches to my nose (I have sleep apnea).

Me: Oh honey you were right about the breathing machine. I'm definitely a size medium!

Wife: I was right about the nose thing?

Me: Yes.

Wife: Would you say that my assessment was on the nose?

I stood back in awe. She had bested me. I will never, ever, be able to tell a dadjoke like that.

My wife and I were laying in bed one night and heard our dog snoring.

My wife mentions that maybe our dog has doggie sleep apnea.

I replied, "Well maybe we should get her a C-Pup..."

Wife: "uggghhhh"