'OK,' I said, 'Alpaca my bags.'
I said, "Sorry, I don't do it on porpoise"
Let's see what you can doe...
We're having a Canadian wedding with an animal theme to differentiate the different tables. On each table we'll have an animal emblem with some kind of love pun for each animal. It's been a trying affair to come up with these, but I know a lot of them could be better. In fact, most of them are downright ridiculous.
Reddit, how can we improve these?
Moose - I find you amoosing.
Beaver - I think I'll pick this flower for her, it would beavery romantic.
Owl - Owl always love you.
Fox - You are the object of my affoxtion.
Skunk - I stink you're sweet!
Bunny - Everybunny loves you!
Woodpecker - Knock Knock! Who's there? Wood! Wood who? Wood you be mine?
Porcupuine. I'm stuck on you.
Wolf - Wolf you marry me?
Trout - We'll be together trout eternity!
Turtle - You're turtley amazing.
Lynx - Let us lynx our lives together.
Bear - To be away from you is unbearable.
Squirrel - I'm going nuts for you!
Raven - Can't stop raven about you.
Turkey - I could just gobble you up!
Caribou - Where does one find a wedding ring for his deer? Why at the cariboutique, of course.
Deer - I love you deerly!
Goose - You give me goose bumps.
Sasquatch - Getting you to marry me was no small feat.
Also looking for some ideas for racoon, snake, and groundhogs.
State-of-the-Ark technology
It was great. She’s a keeper.
My thoughts are with his family.
Frogs, they eat Fly for breakfast.
....
It was a shitzu.
EDIT: For those who say it's "stolen", i had no idea. A friend of mine told me this one yesterday and i just had to post it. That's it :)
They get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
It said "Neigh"
A hamster.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
She told me they call her the queen advisor
Lion, Ass, Cheetah
A Cowculator.
You can legally put down one
I tried to bring it up but she didn't want to discuss the elephant in the room.
Yesterday, I took a herd of cows out for drinks.
He started pointing them out to me.
"Llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, chameleon."
++++++++++++++++++
I thought of this today while driving and smacked my wheel as I giggled. My girlfriend stared at me, bemused and confused.
I like it. I'm proud of myself.
Norvegan!
Edit: doesn't, not does. I'm a donkey
I think it was Scampoo.
A laughing stock!!!!
wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.
but had to take them back as the seal was broken...
Turdles.
It was a shit zoo.
but what do rhino.
He said, “You bet your ass.”
He tried everything: rodents, small animals, and even cuts from larger animals, but it wouldn't eat.
As a last resort, he offered a virgin, but still the snake wouldn't eat. So, he called up the village's wise man.
Without hesitation, the wise man put two pieces of bread on the woman, and the snake ate her whole.
When Attila asked why, the wise man responded,
"Thine anaconda don't want nun unless you've got buns, hun!"
Actually, it's not but the fastest one is a cheetah
