I said I love the Reverse Flash on Barry Allen's subreddit

I received the fastest ban alive.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ebatm3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What did they yell at Edgar Allen Poe when he nearly walked into a tree?

POETRY!

πŸ‘︎ 133
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lshawel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Edgar Allen Toe
πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The1WithNumbers
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Edgar Allen Crow
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonDrawer14
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What is Edgar Allen Poe's favorite breed of dog?

A melancholy

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Allen
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bondmemebond
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I got kicked out of the museum for taking a picture of barry allen

Apparently they have a no flash photography rule

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spiderkc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Who was Edgar Allen arrested by?

The Poelice

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/QuietGiantWRX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
My Dad went out with a couple of guys called Barry Allen the other night.

He said it turned into a flash mob.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Do you know how I call my hoodie?

Allen

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/siorge
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin build his house?

Igloos it together

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
This is just a list of 50 famous people but if they were birds.
  • George Washwington
  • Leonarcrow da Vinci
  • Eagle Allen Poe
  • Harry S. Toucan
  • Teddy Dodosevelt
  • Charles Duckens
  • Octavian Owlgustus
  • Flysaac Newton
  • Benchicken Franklin
  • Gullysses S. Grant
  • Vincent Van Goose
  • John Lhawk
  • Charlecrane
  • Pengthoven
  • Nikquaila Tesla
  • Jean-Jacques Roostsseau
  • Charles Darwren
  • Rheasus Christ
  • Broodha
  • King Loony XIV
  • Nenepoleon Bonaparte
  • Mahootma Gandhi
  • Winstint Churchill
  • Genghis Swan
  • Pladove
  • Aleggsander the Great
  • Paul the Apostail
  • Lark Twain
  • Dante Aliturkey
  • Michelangswallow
  • Cardinal Marx
  • Albatross Lincoln
  • Robin E. Lee
  • Adolf Swiftler
  • Alextanager Hamilton
  • Ibis Presley
  • Ronald Raven
  • Arnestotle
  • Emuhammad
  • Sir Francis Beakon
  • Tchaikovskylark
  • Christfowler Columbus
  • Finchard Nixon
  • Henry VIII
  • Albert Einstork
  • Thomas Jayfferson
  • William Shrikespeare
  • Woodcock Wilson
  • King Chorioles I of England
  • Johann Sebastian Flock

Edit: formatting

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/captbodgers
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2014
🚨︎ report
Friend in Baltimore asked about advice for a hairstylist

And I said Barber Allen Poe

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tragicherohimself
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Bob The Builder is a hero!

They gave him the allen key to the city!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HardlightCereal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Studying for my MCAT when I came across this passage in Verbal.

I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]

Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, β€œA pun is the lowest form of wit,” a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.

Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, β€œIt is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.” Oscar Levant has added a tag line: β€œA pun is the lowest form of humorβ€”when you don’t think of it first.” John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: β€œ...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.”

Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, β€œTo trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... ”

Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and tho’ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.

Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesn’t mean that the punnery isn’t fu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zil2mz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend loves me, I swear.

We've been watching the Flash, which is awful TV at its finest. You'd expect anyone to watch this to enjoy some good punnery, but that's not the case. I texted this to my girlfriend and got a condescending "Oh, honey..." in response.

My text: "If someone sculpted Barry Allen out of clay, you could call him Adobe Flash."

I swear she loves me but I don't always know why.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/poorloko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2016
🚨︎ report
knock knock jokes and Nabokov's "Lolita"

This is an homage to my buddy Allen who is a master at puns in general and of puns of the antanaclasis variety in particular.

Allen likes to write fan fiction for Vladimir Nabokov's novel "Lolita". In Allen's version, the young girl tries to seduce an older man with hacky knock knock jokes. One example: "Hey big boy, I want to whisper something in your ear... Did you know Knock-Knock Jokes may result in swollen knuckles?"

The copyright holders have requested he take the jokes out. They said to knock off knock-off knuckle knock-knocks in Nabokov knock-offs.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeSaintClair
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
🚨︎ report
A couple of my dad's infamous sayings

Whenever someone comes into the house my dad asks

"Hey, ______, can I get you a drink or something to eat? I can open up a can of ribs." My dad thinks this is hilarious and usually ends up cracking himself up while our guest just stands there nervously laughing from confusion. It's a Woody Allen quote btw.

Another one is whenever someone asks what his occupation is: "Philanthropist"

"Really?"

"Yea. But I'm not a very good one"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/insertnamehere255
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2015
🚨︎ report
What Did The Monkey Say When His Tail Got Caught In The Lawn Mower?

It won't be long now.

Ted Allen said this dad joke on Chopped and this older cowboy chef knew the punchline. He must have kids.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnCrunchDaPimp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2015
🚨︎ report
Late Christmas Grandadjoke

My brother opens up his Christmas present which was a book of Edgar Allen Poe stories.

To which my grandpa immediately says, "I heard the critics were really Raven about that one!"

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/purpleshark42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2014
🚨︎ report
Edgar Allan Poe is about to run into a tree. What do you yell at him?

POETRY!

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1TallTXn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.