Why did the one FBI agent say to the other?
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What does a real estate agent from the Seychelles specialized in beachfront properties do?
She sells Seychelles by the sea shore.
What does a CIA agent do when it's time for bed?
Wife says I won’t get 5 upvotes for this, but... Did you hear the one about the dog and the tree?
They had a long conversation about bark.
Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.
My real estate agent lied.. he said my house had 1000 carpet area
I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs in there ..
What are CIA agents called when they go to sleep ?
You want the names of the tiny shrimp secret agents?
Sure, I could tell you...but then I’d have to krill you.
Why do secret agents get the best sleep...
Because they’re always undercover.
As a secret agent, my kids never know what I got them for Christmas..
I always keep the presents under wraps.
A heavily armed man runs into an estate agent....Screaming....
Did you hear about the conjoined twins that got fired from the FBI?
Did you hear the one about the secret agent that was captured behind enemy lines with a sheepdog as part of his disguise?
When he was put to death, his captors ground him up and baked him in the oven covered in gravy and mashed potatoes.
When questioned as to why such a cruel and unusual punishment was administered, they stated that this was the only way to correctly execute a shepherd spy.
How to defeat Agent P in a swordfight.
What do you call a former FBI agent who now works delivering packages?
Why do elements and chemicals make good real estate agents?
They have a lot of properties.
hear about how deodorant lead to the capture of a cold war agent?
the scent of old spies gave him away
What do you call a Secret Agent Potato?
My dad saw an ad for game with heavily armed animals. He asked me what they gave the naked mole rats.
I told him stealth gear and a go bag. He is an exposed double agent.
Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?
Because it was not agent's toilet.
If you were dating a FBI agent and you broke up...
I was brewing my first batch of beer with a friend and he told me to add the seed cones that are used primarily as a bittering, flavoring, and stability agents.
I washed a few $20's the other day...
A very angry IRS agent called me and threatened me with serious fines and jail time for committing tax fraud.
I guess they take money laundering very seriously....
What do you call identical twins that join the police force?
Saw the damnedest thing at the airport. A vulture was trying to board the plane with a dead, rotting animal hanging out of its mouth. Gate agent tried to stop him...
...and the vulture said, "I'm clearly permitted one piece of carrion luggage."
Why did the FBI agent go to bed?
He needed to be undercover.
Today my real estate agent showed me a house that had mirrors as siding
I could really see myself in it
The Pentagon has a bakery where government agents learn secret recipes by mixing the ingredients themselves...
It operates on a knead to know basis.
Cattle Farmers respond to Federal Agents burning marijuana fields next door.
"In these troubled times, the steaks have never been higher."
When my friend, a CIA agent, arrived at the hotel in Syria, dead insects were scattered all over the floor...
He had to sweep for bugs.
Two male FBI agents went to dinner and a movie.
It was a federal man date.
Ya know why we had to make the FBI agent leave the bar?
The secret service agents no longer shout "get down!" anymore.
They shout "Donald, duck!"
Is he a field agent? Does he always make straw-man arguments?
Why do secret agents get the best sleep?
Because they’re always undercover.
(My first original Dad joke. Inspired by my son)
when two german agent walks into the pub in London during WW2
, and one of them said to the waiter:
- Two martini please.
The waiter:
- Dry?
- Nein! Zwei!
My real estate agent lied to me.. he said that my house had 1000 carpet area
I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs ..
What does a CIA agent do when he goes to bed ?
What does a CIA agent do when he sleeps?
What did the real estate agent say to the other agent?
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