COVID numbers are largely based off of two factors
  1. How dense the population is
  2. How dense the population is
πŸ‘οΈŽ 57
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/okuyasu_higashikata
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2020
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There were many factors that led to the mutiny on the HMS bounty in 1789. The most significant grievance was that:

They ran out of paper towels.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2020
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10 is a factor of 100.

And 22.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rawSingularity
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2020
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The undead not having to factor food and shelter into their cost of living is a clear example of wight privilege.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2019
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I'm strangely attracted to geese. There's just something about them, an x-factor. They have a certain...

je ne sais quack.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 117
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OgreMonk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2017
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I always thought that Two Factor, as in two factor authentication, sounded like a Rapper's handle.

I wonder if he's a fan of his predecessor, TwoFac Secure?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LegendaryOdin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2019
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I believe the 2020 election will come down to one deciding factor:

which candidate has the best vision.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thndrslapmagraw
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2018
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Puns leave me numb. Mathematical puns leave me number.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xjohnnyxleex
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 02 2019
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Thank you

This isn't a dad joke. This is a thank you to everyone on this subreddit. 6 weeks ago the love of my life broke things off with me due to factors attributed to my mental health (which i didn't tell her about because she is struggling with uni and i didn't want her to worry) and I've been having an extremely difficult time coming to terms with it. She's falling for another guy while I've been self destructing to the point where she never wants to talk to me again. But i found this subreddit today, the jokes are so stupid and funny that for the first time since before the breakup, I've laughed and it was genuine. Thank you so much for your stupid jokes. You've saved my life as far as I'm concerned. I still have a long way to to, but this subreddit is definitely going to get me through it. Thank you πŸ’–

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xcixjames
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2019
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I heard my teenager mumbling in her sleep. She kept repeating, "1,3,5,7,9"

Literally she can't even.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 992
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2018
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Something strange is going on at the M&M factor...

This is my third bag of M&M this week that has all W’s and no M’s!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jmorri7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 21 2019
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What’s with all this forced two factor authentication?

What’s with all this forced two factor authentication?

I think they’ve gone TWO FAH.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RealSilicaGel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2019
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My ex girlfriend was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.

I wonder what she is up to now.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 09 2019
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"did you factor in the restance when calculating the current" "no i dont think so"

"ohm no"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lasagna_banagna
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2018
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Gf asked for help, and I did the best I can
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Vyuvarax
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2018
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BIL was telling us about one of his exes who counted everything. In fact, her incessant counting was a factor in the breakup.

FIL quips "I wonder what she's up to."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/voidbender
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2016
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What was so wrong with USA...

...that they had to go and make USB?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 17 2018
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Sex is like math

You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply

πŸ‘οΈŽ 336
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pitchstrikes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2018
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Imagine if we Americans switched from pounds to kilograms over night.

There would be mass confusion.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 318
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WaltsTwoCents
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2019
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Physics prof + dadjoke = high-quality nerd factor (okay not the daddest of dadjokes, but not the baddest either)

Back in my classical mechanics class, we always used p to denote momentum, and q to denote position. Halfway through a lecture full of brain farts where everyone was accidentally saying and writing "p" when we meant "q" and vice versa, our prof said, "You gotta keep your p's and q's straight! Physicists know what it really means to mind your p's and q's." <<chuckles to himself>>

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ITRAINEDYOURMONKEY
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2013
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Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aaaqqq
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2019
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An 8th grade student got me with this today. I'm so proud.

Student: "Why is it so bad to have a pie thrown in your face in math class?"

Me: "Why?"

Student: "Because it never ends."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/we_need_ice
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2015
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My math teacher said that I'm a terrible student

How mean! If I had to sum it up, I would say that’s not the best mode to say that to me. Maybe they should try to factor in the student’s feelings when telling them they need to tell them they need to fix their grade. I told them to factor that in next time, but they just couldn’t see my logic.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Doogasa34
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2019
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When did the professors meet?

Tenures ago.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 241
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mushnikJmushnik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2015
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With great power...

..Comes greater difficulty in factorizing the polynomial.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 05 2018
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What is the chickens favorite TV show?

EGGs Factor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PogoPug
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2017
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You all know how 7 ate 9, right?

I suppose it was pretty obvious. 7 always was an odd number. Even 10 wasn’t shocked. 11 was all primed for the party, but when he factored in the whole situation, 12 split for (4) 3’s house.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rockslacasa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2017
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How did the guy polynomial get the girl polynomial pregnant?

He factor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zizmax_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2013
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Gandhi

I heard Gandhi often went shoeless, so his feet were very tough. He was a vegetarian, so he had a thin build. Lastly, he fasted often, which has a tendency to cause bad breath.

All of those factors combined made him a super calloused, fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Flooberjibby
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2015
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Why did Nivea Cream?

Because Max Factor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Duckus6
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21 2015
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This was my father's text to me this morning concerning Harrison Ford.

Him: Harrison Ford injured in crash landing of a piece of junk. Wondering if special modifications were contributing factor. Inquired about Chewbacca's condition. Nancy assured me this was a solo flight.

Me: you're the devil.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dsubandbeard
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 06 2015
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Getting our things home after vacation

We're on vacation, and due to work and other factors we are all heading home at different times on different flights. My mom says to my dad:

"Can we discuss how we're getting shit home?"

"Well it'll be way easier if you go to the bathroom and just leave it here"

EDIT: a few minutes later, my Mom needed help fitting something into one of our bags. She asked my dad for a hand. He clapped.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/plammy_sosa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2014
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My mom snuck a good one in this morning.

I walk out to the car on the way to work, forgot my keys, so I run back inside. Mom looks up and asks what I forgot. I said, 'keys!' As I hurry past her in the kitchen. Without skipping a beat she replies " well you know those are a KEY factor in getting to work?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drLeoSpacceman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 17 2015
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Recurring Grandad joke

I only got to see my grandpa on my mom's side about once a year usually growing up, but there was always one common factor of each visit.

At some point during the catching up conversations, Pa (what we called him) would get a real dejected look on his face. Then he'd face my mom:

"Oh Vicky... guess who died?"-Pa

"Oh no... Who?"-Mom

"Elvis." -Pa

He'd then giggle, finger fun, and slap his thigh. Every. Single. Year.

I have a feeling he used that one for the better part of 40 years.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Krerickson
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2014
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The spread of Covid-19 is based mostly on two factors
  1. How dense the local population is
  2. How dense the local population is
πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Martijngamer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2020
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Covid spreads based on two factors
  1. A dense population
  2. A population being dense
πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/welltechnically7
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 21 2020
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