What do you call an adventurer that gives out money?

Indiana Loans. #10 year-old joke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattyGlog
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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What do you call an adventurer with a fashionable hat?

http://imgur.com/Iix1wVH

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaboose286
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2015
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My cat, JOJO, fighting Dio (circa, 1886). Tis a purrfect parody. Anime: Jojo’s bizarre adventures. Pun Clarification: Hamon is a fighting energy in the anime, you can see that the pun was replacing the word Salmon.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JamJamCuddlyLamb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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The Tells bowling adventures

Everyone knows the story about William Tell shooting an apple off his son's head but not many know that the Tell family was huge into bowling, even joined a league. Sadly, the records weren't kept safe and to this very day we have no idea for whom the Tells bowled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baronvb1123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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The show Phineas and Ferb came and went like their adventures.

Started with a bang and phineased unexpectedly.

edit: woah my first award. thank you u/LingThingLS

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πŸ‘€︎ u/archit14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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People asked me what my most thrilling adventure trip was last year ... heli-skiing, skydiving, or camping...

Hands down camping. It was so in tents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/enganere
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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JoJo’s Bazaar Adventure
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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My dad loved to recount his adventures...

One time he told me how he hiked in the mountains, sat on a rock, and wondered all night where the sun had gone...

...and then it dawned on him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Attinaux
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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What is Goofy's favorite novel?

The Adventures of Hyuck-leberry Finn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mudnuka
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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Need help with puns.

So I have an english speaking DnD group and it’s not my native language so I have a hard time coming up with creative puns.

Next month we will have an adventure where they will all be turned into sushi’s. Do you have any puns for Paladin sushi’s or wizard sushi’s or any other class BUT that person is also a sushi?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobertCutter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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The Adventures of Munchausen
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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Where do you send your boots when they've been misbehaving?

Boot camp

Edit, "boot camp didn't work out so the boots went on a sole searching adventure."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PantsHelpMe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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Rabbits would probably say that having kids is the hare-raising adventure of a lifetime
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OranguPanda
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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Need a short Pun involving Dinosaurs and Space?

I just need a very short pun involving space and dinosaurs to go on the cover of an adventure book im writing for kids.

"A roarsome adventure" is too cliche and I'd like space to be featured somewhere. But there isn't a lot of room.

Thanks for any help, don't worry about them being dumb as a dumb pun could inspire a decent one :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mikomiji
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Did you guys see the new Adventures of Tin Tin movie? His soul gets removed from his body and put into an industrial drum fan.

I'd rate it tin out of tin. Big fan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DripSquirt
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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What adventure sport is a black man scared of?

White water rafting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Monkeydoos
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
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passwords
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BanAllPineapples
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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Home Alone Adventures - Episode 1: "Being a nonce"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unknownplugmaster
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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We used to have a Spanish milkman who would boast about his sexual adventures.

People called him leche-erous behind his back.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtravar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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Found this gem on a Polar Adventure website - Oh Just let it go!

https://preview.redd.it/lbq37y164cd11.jpg?width=760&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7cc72b4d1bdd0123eaae2b32aa2627956ebb9bcb

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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What do you call the mixture of American literature and alcohol?

Tequila Mockingbird.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GedT1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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Why did the turtle retire and move to the south pole?

He couldn't handle any more hare-racing adventures

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Y2KoNo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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A young man worked at a carpet selling business

A young man worked at a carpet selling business and one day his boss came up to him and said:
"We have been impressed with how you sell the products. We're going to send you to a carpeting convention in Las Vegas so you can learn all the tricks of the trade. We will pay for your flights, accommodation, and all your food!"
The young man was excited and went and got ready for his trip. The day of the trip came and the young man's boss called and asked him if he was excited for his adventure to which the young man replied:
"Yes I am! I'm gonna seize the day because I've got a carpet per diem"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/esjay_
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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The adventures of Max Dad, P.I.

The sun shone into my office through the lowered blinds all clumsy like, fumbling through the gaps between the venetian slats like a drunk fishing for loose change in his pockets; trying to see if he has money enough for one last drink or maybe the bus ride home.

The dame looked me up and down, clearly disappointed by what sat in front of her. I didn’t blame her. Three days of salt and pepper stubble clung to my my crude boxer’s jaw and the bags under my eyes were so big half the bums downtown could sleep in there and not even know anyone else was with 'em. That was ok. This broad wasn’t hiring me for my looks and I wasn’t looking to her for approval. We both knew what brought her in here, it was the name on the door.

Max Dad P.I. - that’s me. Private Investigator’s sure not the profession my mother would have picked out for me, but it keeps me in whisky and it keeps a roof over my head and that’ll do for now. The dame parted those cherry red lips of hers as she took another pull on that just-lit cigarette and nervously stubbed it out in the ashtray. My eyebrows knit together slightly. I hate seeing things go to waste.

β€œSo as I was saying, Mr Dad,” she began.

β€œPlease, call me Max”

β€œAlright, Max… well, as I was saying, my bag is missing. Stolen, I think. I urgently need it back. Shall I describe it to you?”

β€œNo that’s alright miss. You got nothing to worry about,” I replied, sliding a bottle out of the desk drawer and pouring a big slug of scotch into to my morning coffee, β€œI’m sure it’ll be a brief case.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnyohnny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2016
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Jojo joke

I tried getting into Jojo's Bizarre Adventure but I just couldn't stand it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redbeardoweirdo
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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Dad jokes at the dinner table
  • Me: Decides to be adventurous at dinner, orders pasta with squid ink
  • My dad: β€œMy dinner is delicious, you should try some”
  • Me: β€œOnly if you try a bite of this pasta, it’s really good too”
  • My dad, who rarely tells jokes, starts smiling: β€œSo you’re suggesting a... squid pro quo?”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whysomanyemmas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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An adventure?

alpaca my bags.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabenineedaknife
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2016
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Don't use Beef Stew as a password

It's not stroganoff

(Heard from an actual dad)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/connermcg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
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A brick fell out from an areoplane carrying 100 bricks. How many are left?
  1. A brick fell out from an areoplane carrying 100 bricks. How many are left?
  2. How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
  3. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
  4. The Lion King had a bid ceremony but only one animal that did not attend. What was the animal?
  5. An adventurer wanted to cross a river fulled with crocodiles. But he is not hurt after crossing the river. Why?
  6. The adventurer dies after he walked away from the river. Why?

Answers

  1. 99 left
  2. Open the fridge, put it in, close the fridge.
  3. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put it in, close the fridge.
  4. The giraffe.
  5. Because all the crocodile went to the ceremony.
  6. The brick fell on him and killed him.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SiowYY
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
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Prototypical One Direction Fan
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πŸ‘€︎ u/divB_is_zero
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2016
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My dad looked at the cover and said, "I hear this is an epic adventure for the entire family."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimothyClover
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2013
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What is an alcoholic’s favorite book?

Tequila Mockingbird

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πŸ‘€︎ u/3io4ehg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
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Jason Bourne...

... is reliving the same day over and over in "Bourne Again"

... travels to the past to stop a terrorist attack in "Bourne yesterday"

... finally settles down and has a baby in "New Bourne"

... de-evolves into a feral beast who prowls the wilderness in "Bourne to be Wild"

Firstly, I think they really missed a trick naming these films.

Secondly... I know there are more of these...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalMikey666
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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[Request] Puns on the name "Ghesh"

There's a player in my Dnd campaign with the name "Ghesh". I'm wanting some adventuring-related puns to annoy with. I've already used "put a bandage on that Ghesh" (playing off of gash) and "Found Gheshing Water" (off gushing). Any other ideas?

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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Buwanna

I recall from my youth, a time of great adventure. My friends and I on safari hunting the Great North-American Man-Eating Female Butt-Ox.

The hunt was difficult and expensive. Once one has been identified as an acceptable specimen you need to slow its wits and dull its decision making process. This is best accomplished with loud music, flashing lights and alcohol. But even then the hunt can be foiled by rushing in to early. If you're successful, you then need to separate it from the pack. This is the trickiest bit as less than ideal pack members will often fight ruthlessly to "protect" your target.

But even the most successful outings are not without risk. On several occasions I found myself entangled in a wrestling match for hours. But there lies the fruit of the hunt...

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πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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Cat-tain America the furriest Avenger imgur.com/LmuE952
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2017
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Need help thinking of an ice cream pun

More specifically, my friend and I are going to every ice cream place we possibly can this summer and want to think of a name for our little adventure. "Tour de cone" is a dumb example we came up with. Anyone have other suggestions!? Thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Culc16
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2017
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Old joke, my daughter loved it.

A trio of explorers were hiking through the Congo and found a small village that was very isolated and not on any map. The villagers turned out to speak English very well, and informed the adventurers very politely that theirs was a village of cannibals and they were to be cooked and eaten, and their hides tanned and turned into canoes for the villagers, but they would allow them to take their own life however they saw fit.

The first man asks for a sharp knife, slices his wrists open, and mutters "Lay me down and bleed a while, and ne'er up again."

The second man asks for his revolver, says "For God and Country!" and shoots himself in the head.

The last man asks for a fork, and stabs himself repeatedly screaming "Fuck your canoe!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimvoluntaryist
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2013
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Brainstorming food/movie theme nights. It es-kale-lated quickly. Only thing in my Bumble profile now.

When Harry Met Salad

What About Ke-Bob

Cumin to America

Weekend at Bearneaise II

Steakin I, II, & III

A Few Good Salmon

You’ve Got Kale

Shawshank Re-Dim Sum

Romancing the Scone

An Γ‰clair to Remember

Roman Hollandaise

Glazed and Confused

Bill & Ted’s Eggcellent Adventure

The Evil Bread

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Shrimp

Fondue the Right Thing

Ribeyes Wide Shut

Mignons

Plante of the Grapes

Spider Manchu

Sushis All That

A Wok to Remember

Marsala-la Land

Apocalypse Cow

Die Chard

Die Chard with a Vinaigrette

Hogan’s Gyros

The Sand Latkes

A League of their Macaroni

Revenge of the Curds

Rush S’More

Braising Arizona

Demolition Ham

10 Things I hate About Ewe

Saladin

Oliver and Com-penne

Dirty Rotten Chanterelles

Sex and the Satay

The Truth About Cats & Hotdogs

Morella Enchanted

Provolone Together

Clear and Pheasant Danger

The Big Chili

LΓ©mon: The Professional

Ava-Tartare

Hocous Pocous

High Fi-Deli Meat

Madagascargot

The Fifth Elementos

Muensters Inc.

There’s Something About Rosemary

I Am Ham

Quiche Lorraine Man

Barley & Me

Lentil Giants

Peggy SoufflΓ© Got Married

Face Stroganoff

Con GruyΓ©re

Fast Times at Porridgemont High

Bok Choys in the Hood

Papillonion

Requinoa for a Dream

Serial Cardamom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kat_fogg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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Cross Post - why didn't this start here?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stingray191
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2012
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Jack and the Beanstalk meets Little Red Riding Hood

This is the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, after the story ends. After chopping down the beanstalk, Jack realizes that he’s actually pretty damn good with an axe, and casual vegetative vandalism really struck his fancy, so he began chopping down other trees for a living. He became a traveling woodsman, and he enjoyed many years of his simple life of manual labor.

One day, as he chops wood, he hears screams from a nearby cottage. Hurriedly breaking in (because recall: jack has no problem with entering houses uninvited), he sees a cross dressing lycanthrope attempting to devour a little girl dressed all in red and her little grandmother too. Wielding his trusty axe, Jack murdered yet another fantasy creature, and safely led Little Red all the way back home. Answering the door was a beautiful woman of around his age. After sending Little Red to bed, the two of them talked for hours.

One thing led to another, and a year later they were married with a child on the way. They had a beautiful little boy named Jack Junior who followed in his father’s steps to become a woodsman. This was fortunate, because as Junior grew up, Jack was feeling the pain of his previous adventures. An old back injury from jumping from the beanstalk was haunting him, and over time his posture grew more and more hunched. He had a tough time working, but at least Junior was becoming a strapping young man.

One day, Jack and Junior took the long road to the grandmothers place to bring her a meal, just like that fateful trio Red took so many years ago. When they arrived, the grandmother greeted them cheerily, welcoming them in and making conversation. β€œOh Junior,” she said, β€œyou’ve grown into such a handsome and strong young man. It’s so kind of you to handle all the work so your poor father, with his bad back and all, doesn’t have to. Why don’t you have a girlfriend yet?” Junior hesitated. β€œWell Grandma,” he replied. β€œIt’s because... I’m gay”. The close-minded, set-in-her-ways grandma’s expression became stormy. She pulled poor hunched-over Jack into adjacent room, and whispered angrily: β€œJack, your life is a mess! Your posture is terrible and your son isn’t giving me any grandsons!” Jack replied: β€œMa, we’re happy, you can’t just-β€œ But she interrupted. β€œNo excuses!” She snapped. β€œYou need to straighten your lumbar, Jack!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coyoteTale
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
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Request! Help me come up with cheesy pun using words "quetzal" or "monkey"?

I am making cheesy valentine-like cards for my fellow Adventure Monkeys--a name that was dubbed to the group I did humanitarian aid work with in Guatemala. For our last meeting tomorrow, I want to bring cheesy valentine-like cards, but I'm having trouble coming up with a silly pun. I'd like to use the words Quetzal (national bird of Guatemala) or Monkey (for our group) if possible.

Any ideas? I need your brilliant pun minds!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alliegatorrr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2015
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Why did the turtle retire and move to the south pole?

He couldn't handle any more hare-racing adventures

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Y2KoNo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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