Here’s a little early access to a pun I made. I’m not sure if this joke has been said before but I hope not. I love making up puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kyledreeling10
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Do you know what someone says when they have no access to Swedish furniture stores?

I have no IKEA

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cornelius_M
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?" - Me: "I Excel at it." - Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"

Me: "Word".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KimJongEwww
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Micro pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdramanuj
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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Farmers notice : Public access to this field and footpath is free.

.. But the Bull charges.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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The local paper ran a front page article about offering a large print edition to be more accessible.

Apparently it was big news.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dave7243
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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You stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you.

You have my Word.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConfidentDuck1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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Why did Spider-Man decide to buy a laptop?

So that he could design his own website.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Microsoft note-d
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bongnazi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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We should all thank Bill Gates during Covid-19...

Imagine how boring quarantine would be if he hadn't invented Windows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BBQ_Cake
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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Take my Word
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zarhouni
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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Public opinion was favorable for local farmer banning outsiders access to hills filled with mushroom on his land.

He had the morel high ground.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iuntti
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

But that tablet only had 10 commands.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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I wanted to set up a bar inside of a cave but the police denied me access to

They said it was illegal to give alcohol to miners

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MonotoneYay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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What do you call a secret place that grows Bananas, that you can only access through the back of a wardrobe?

Banarnia

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bulletproof_Soul
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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More people have access to a mobile phone than a toilet.

I think we really need to upgrade our plumbers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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Coworker wanted to put an access point in his garage so he could get Wi-Fi at his firepit...

I guess he wanted to turn his firepit into a hotspot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shutter_87
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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What does Sauron do when his tower isn't accessible enough?

He adds more doors

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPhteven0
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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The internet connection at my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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Three European contrabass players were denied access to USA at the airport customs

They wouldn't let contraband enter the country.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plaineman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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You know a great thing about canvass stands?

They make art easely accessible.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tunecrooner
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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I think dads automatically gain access to a dadjoke reservoir the moment they become dads...

My aunt recently had a baby, and she was telling us about the experience the other day at a family get-together. How beautiful her little girl is, how amazing the experience was, yadda yadda. Then she told us about my uncle's reaction, which she was less than thrilled about.

When my uncle saw his daughter for the first time after my aunt had just labored for hours, he said:

"Damn, it's 2013, you'd think they'd have started making these things cordless by now."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CloudyWithRain
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2013
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I was trying to show my dad the advantages of storing his passwords in the cloud in order to never lost them and have access from anywhere when...

He looked at my with a smile in his face and say... "But what if it's sunny?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Juerguist
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
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How much money do professional ice skaters make in a year?

Eight figures but unfortunately they can't access it because their accounts are frozen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickC-249
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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My wife told me she'd leave me if I don't stop making Microsoft puns, and I need some advice

I immediately left my Office and tried explaining myself. Sure, on the Surface I do it often, but I think it Works. It's not just about Word play, either; my Outlook on life helps me Excel. She and I have such a great Team Foundation, I Azure you. I wanted to Exchange my thoughts with her, so we could work with OneDrive. I looked her right in the Windows of her soul, to Access the deepest parts of her heart, and told her I loved her. Completely on Edge, I awaited her answer...

PowerPoint of the story is: does anyone know of a good divorce lawyer?

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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A belt that allows chefs easy access to spices...

Could be called a waist of thyme

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/riz_lemon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2016
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Did you know the U.A.E don’t have access to the flinstones?

But the Abu-Dhabi-Do!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TeeDogz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2017
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My buddy asked if he could crash on my couch tonight...

I had to explain to him that I was married now and that's where I sleep.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2017
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?" - Me: "I Excel at it." - Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"

Me: "Word'

πŸ‘︎ 747
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KimJongEwww
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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How do trees access the internet?

They log on.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?" - Me: "I Excel at it." - Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"

Me: "Word"

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KimJongEwww
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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Whoever stole my Microsoft office account ID, I will find you.

You have my Word.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Willow-wolliW
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How do trees access the internet?

They log on.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bridge_view
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office:

I will find you. You have my Word!

πŸ‘︎ 203
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anam_Cara
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?" - Me: "I Excel at it." - Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"

Me: "Word"

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KimJongEwww
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
How do trees πŸŽ„ access internet?

They log in

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/da5kicka
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.

You have my Word.

πŸ‘︎ 262
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oasishippie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to go into a long explanation of how to access an ATM machine but...

...let's put a pin in that for a moment.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
To the person who stole my copy of mircosoft office

I will find you, you have my word

πŸ‘︎ 197
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Syter6
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.

You have my Word.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trailgumby
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2017
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
- Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?" - Me: "I Excel at it." - Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"

Me: "Word"

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KimJongEwww
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2017
🚨︎ report

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