Today I learned my son hates r/DadJokes. He's been spat on, punched, and verbally abused for his own opinion...
I don't even want to imagine what'll happen when he leaves the house.
I gave my friend a jar of cashews but the cashews abused him, beat him up and ran away.
He should have known, it was a nut case.
I made some abused chicken.
My wife blames me for getting verbally abused when she went to an animal rights rally in bobington.
She must have thought I said 'wear the fox hat'
What did the abused sheep day to the farmer?
Baby don't herd me, don't herd me, no more.
Edit: I fucked up the title, I know.
I’m addicted to abusing nuns, I just can’t not hit them, the only thing that’s worked for me is redirecting it to somebody else.
I’m trying really hard to kick the abbot
What do you call a smart drug abuser?
My high school bully still takes my lunch money.
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
Why was the drummer arrested for emoji abuse?
He kept hitting the cymbals
Why couldn’t the Egyptian get out of her abusive relationship?
She was still in de-Nile.
Heroine
I walked into a substance abuse clinic for my second meeting yesterday. The doctor knew I had a severe crush on women super heros...today he told me the news.
"Sir I'm afraid it's dire, you need to be checked in immediately for your heroine addiction"
Ever hear the one about the domestically abusive dwarf and his tall wife?
What do you call a person who disses abusive words
People who abuse steroids have ill-gotten gains
Two domestic abusers, very similar features...
I have a book for alcoholics and drug abusers
Where can you look up the definitions of drug abuse, alcoholism, and problem gambling?
People that do a lot of crunches go through a lot of abuse.
Abusive Flashlight
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight?
He was charged with battery
i went to rehab for abusing soap
i just wanted to get clean
It was about rape so the pun is better. Original post https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/bq2qvn/peta_parent_freaks_out_at_my_animal_abusing_ways/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
A man was found abusing words
3 domesticated Rams are in the kitchen, labelled A, B & C
If you put a pumpkin on ram A, nothing happens.
If you put a pumpkin on ram B you get the same result.
But if you put a pumpkin on Ram C it starts knocking things off counters, making a mess and abusing the kitchen staff.
I guess that is what happens when you put a gourd on ram c in the kitchen.
when making salad, i may sometimes abuse vinegar...
but at least not rape oil.
My 7yo just pulled an UNO reverse dad joke on me.
Homework time.. complaining, I don’t wanna, etc.
Me: Nicky, I’m getting upset.
Nicky: Well, hello, Getting Upset, I’m Nicky.
Then he dabbed and walked away.
Nothing in my life has prepared me for this.
So I heard Michael Jackson was accused of child abuse
I guess you could say those kids where hit by a smooth criminal.
Why don't they send alcoholics to jail for substance abuse?
Sit-ups and crunches are classic forms of abuse
Did you hear about the young BDSM member that had to go to court for abuse, but was let off on a technicality?
The judge said he was just a whippersnapper.
After many abuses, the horse finally rebelled after a lack of food.
It shall commence on 4/20
I had an abusive father growing up who was a professional wrestler
It wasn't that bad though, because he never really hit us.
What do abusive parents wear?
What does an abusive butcher do to get off?
TIL: A thousand years ago, the boomerang was Australia’s chief export.
I've been champaigning against alcohol abuse.
When my wife sings i like to stand outside so it doesn't sound like i am abusing her
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