A new level.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gregorybrad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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A whole new level
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Python119
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Patel was teaching a boy named Ed basic geometry, which he was failing to grasp even on the most basic levels. He mistook squares for triangles, circles for hexagons and so on...

So Patel tried to go to the lowest level and put a dot on the paper.

"What this, Ed?"

"A line?" the boy replied.

"I... I expected more from you. I'm... This a point, Ed."

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alkaath
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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Despite getting A-level results of A, B, B, A

it seems that no employer will take a chance on me.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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With the global warming raising the sea level, it is only a question of time for England to become Engsea.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matthieunc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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I tried to quell a disagreement between me and my girlfriend in the shopping mall. But by the time we got to the second level we were shouting at each other.

In retrospect we shouldn’t have been on that escalator.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sellwinerugs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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We should raise the Lego bricks and help them to a normal Level of Respect!

They have been stepped on for far too long.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_German_Memer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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This Is A Paid advertisement: Have a home project you’re working on? For a limited time, Lowes Home Improvement is now selling Levels 2 for the price of 1!

Multi-level marketing

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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I have three different levels of tan on me. One level is my arms and legs from wearing a shirt and shorts. The next level is from not wearing a shirt at the beach. And the last is under my shorts.

I’m neapoliTAN!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Bored-biker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the Highest Level of Competition That a Semi Professional Sauerkraut Pickler Aspires To?

The Briner Leagues.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/du_bekar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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[Request] Can anyone please help me come up with a business name that is a Bob's Burgers-level pun?

The neighboring store front and exterminator van in the opening credits have the best punny business names and always crack me up. I'm a fan and would love to name my business in a similar fashion. ETA Examples: I'd Hit That Boxing Gym. Lady and the Clamp, Hardware for Her. A Fridge Too Far. Cupid's Stupid, Divorce Attorneys. A Ton in the Oven, Big and Tall Baby Clothes. Let's Scissor! Collage Studio. Don't Stop Bereaving, Grief Counseling.

But I am So. Stuck.

A little background about my business idea: I'm a personal/sometimes virtual assistant specializing in household admin and management. I'm marketing mostly towards blue collar men who might be widows/divorcees who never had to worry about the general finances and household paperwork. Some of the services offered are: budget setting, bill paying, appointment setting/calendar management, travel arrangements, errands, personal & grocery shopping, pet & house sitting, etc...

I'm ready to take the next steps in making this an actual business and take out some ad space, but the perfectionist in me NEEDS a brilliant name. Can someone please help me? The best I can come up with is some sort of play on Pepper Potts, but I see quite a few VAs out there with that as a business name. I will gift a platinum to the one I like the best if that's appropriate.

Thank you in advance! πŸ”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmElleGee31
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I am helping a gold-medal winning sprinter acheive the highest level of spiritual awareness.

...I feel like The Flash, because I too, am enlightening Bolt.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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What do you call a mob hitman who only kills low-level drug dealer?

A weed whacker.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivanthemute
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A multi-level pun.
πŸ‘︎ 278
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DSpeed4s
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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This takes "Puff Puff Pass" to a whole new level! And that's my effort a t a weak pun...
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hootanahalf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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If you shit on an elevator, you are taking shit to a whole new level.
πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaRealBinLaden
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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Whenever I find a difficult level on a game I give up and go search for a walkthrough in order to clear it.

I really should get past this phase.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FramDzi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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A Whole new level
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blackhawk9162
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
This doodle is on a hole 'nother level!
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jay-Llo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
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A Chinese restaurant in the neighborhood had to shut down because of high levels of arsenic in their dumplings.

Such wonton disregard for public health, I tell you.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluewhiskers
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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Its punning on a whole new level.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2018
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A man and his wife were arguing while walking up the top floor of a very tall building, his wife stopped and yelled to him " you're wrong on so many levels "
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCouchPullsOut
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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I relate to this on a spirit level
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Girthquakenz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kurn_Worf
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I know a guy who sells chairs designed for use in waiting rooms. He has a very high-level position.

He's the chair man of the bored.

πŸ‘︎ 575
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wdn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2017
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Google's street view cars have taken *car*tography to a whole new level.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
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Brings carpooling to a new level
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matt15A
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2018
🚨︎ report
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.

She told me to look below C level.

(oc)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maraudershake
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I was at the hardware store with my daughter. She of course knocked over a level.

I told her to level with me about what she did.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucidus_somniorum
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
what level is a psychic

Medium

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpdooley6
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when a town is below sea level?

It's D level.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twisted_Jibblets
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
🚨︎ report
This is a poster that hangs in my college level chemistry lab imgur.com/ntySpF0
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/compasrc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2017
🚨︎ report
If David Guetta reached his level of fame by raising himself by the bootstraps, does that make him a go-Guetta?
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perse95
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Is it safe to say that all elevator music is on a whole other level??
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/livinin82
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2015
🚨︎ report
Man, I love this sub it really speaks to me on a personal level.

https://imgur.com/a/KfyDn

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/decipherz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2017
🚨︎ report
My husband just put a level on my head...

And said I'm not very level headed.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puppersnuffs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2017
🚨︎ report
I think I've taken this one to a whole new level

Dave is working at his job at the Time Travel Factory when his partner Bob comes back in his own time machine. "Come quick Dave!" he says "I just got back from the Middle Ages and have met a prince!" So Dave climbs into Bob's machine and they head to the Middle Ages.

They arrive at a castle and immediately meet the prince Bob was talking about. "Your Majesty" says Bob "Allow me to introduce my friend Dave. He works with me at the Time Traveling factory." As Dave bows, the Prince says "It is an honor to meet you my loyal subject. I am a Prince. My mother and father are Queen and King of this kingdom."

"It is even more of an honor to meet you, Your Highness" says Dave. "I have never met royalty before."

"It is indeed a rare honor for most subjects." said the prince. "Because of a strict guideline of pre-arranged marriage and inbreeding, there are only a small number of us around."

"Er...ok..." said Dave. "So tell me Prince, how vast is your kingdom."

"It is most large" said the Prince. "However my population has been dwindling lately. In recent months, I've had to behead a large number of my subjects. It fulfills my bloodlust and desire for authoritarian control by any means necessary."

Clearly uncomfortable, Dave turns to Bob and quietly says "I hate to say it, but this prince you've found is kind of a bummer."

Bob said to Dave "Well what did you expect, I told you. I have meta prince.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2017
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When you work at a restaurant, you're humor gets dumbed down to dad joke level.

So, my table was ordering their drinks and the father of the table ordered by saying, "I'll have a coffee and a water. Black please." I responded, "we don't have black water here, sir." I am still ashamed.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/P_Cray
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call a multi level system of cats?

Cataracts

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marcuccione
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2017
🚨︎ report
People from the Netherlands smoke weed because a large part of their country is underneath the sea level. They are only trying to get "high" so that they can escape the effects of global warming.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gandurk
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2015
🚨︎ report
Wife and I picked up our 8 year old son after a school field trip to a pumpkin farm. Son takes it to the next level. Wife about leaped out of the car...

Me: What did they have at the farm?

Son: Pumpkins and gourds.

Me: Did you get to pick one out to take home?

Son: I got a gourd because it looked cool. /shows us multi colored, striped gourd

Me: Gourd for you!

Son: /slightly confused... Yes, I got this gourd.

Me: So... would you say you had a ... gourd time?

Wife: /groans

Son: Ya, I had a gourd time.

Wife: /groans again.

Wife: Really?!

Me: He gets these jokes now. He's all... gourd up now.

Wife: STOP!

Son: Oh, gourd!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shifty21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2014
🚨︎ report
My Dad is on a whole other level.

Getting ready to tell my Dad he won't believe who I saw, when he asked who I was going to reply with, "everyone I looked at."

Me: Dad, you won't believe who I saw!

Dad: Did you saw or axe them?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kookymonkey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2015
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Are grandpas the equivalent of a level 10 dad when it comes to dad jokes?

This is a conversation on Facebook...

Grandma posts: Does anyone know how to get gorilla glue out of carpet?

Grandpa replies: Feed it a banana.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matwithonet13
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2015
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My dad takes dad jokes to a different kinda level.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/liljay2k
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2013
🚨︎ report

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