A boy is shoving candy into his face when his mom yells at him to stop.
"Don't eat so much candy all at once!"
"Why?" the boy replied.
"If you eat too much candy, you're stomach will get bigger, and bigger, and it will eventually explode!"
The boy is shocked by this image an immediately stops eating candy. The next day, the boy and mom go to church together, and the boy sits down next to a very visibly pregnant woman. The boy looks at her stomach, then up to her face, and says, "I know what you've been doing."
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells “you smelt my armour!”
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: “Yes, and what a lovely scent it had.”
We know the Panama has had its problems, and the Suez had that ship stuck recently, but my co-worker must know of another problematic waterway. Every day he yells out...
‘Far Canal. I hate this place’.
What do you yell at a Chinese board game tournament?
When driving by lowered, loud pipe cars I like to point at the air foil in the back and yell,
10 yr old daughter playing video games yells, “GIRL!”
Dad response, “You know it’s true...”
Daughter laughs (she actually likes my Dad jokes... heh) 🙂
What did Geronimo yell when he went skydiving?
Why did the cow yell at the car?
Because the car wouldn’t mooooove!
What did Jack yell when he angrily chopped down his favorite tree in The Nightmare Before Christmas?
Tiiimmmmmmbbeeerrrrrrr-ton
What did the farmer yell to the shepherds who ran away after their flocks ate all his grass?
What did the janitor yell as he jumped out of the closet?
If Dan could yell very loud
Why did the lawyer yell at his housekeeper?
What is orange and yells ‘I’m an orange, I’m an orange!’?
A tangerine with a superiority complex.
While swimming around, a fish hits its head on a wall and then yells out...
What did the secret service yell when Disney sent assassins after our president?
My wife always yells at me for not knowing how to properly season my food, but I don’t mind.
I take it with a pinch of sugar.
Two cowboys are lost in the desert when one sees a tree draped in bacon. He yells “it’s a bacon tree” then runs to it and is shot up with bullets
It wasn’t a bacon tree it was a Ham Bush
I left my job at the Chinese restaurant and took my favourite frying pan, until I heard the owner yell...
"Don’t wok away from me!"
How do you make 3 old ladies all yell profanities at the same time ?
Have a fourth one yell "BINGO"
What did they yell at Edgar Allen Poe when he nearly walked into a tree?
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
In the battle of the mint - the spearmint attacked the soft mints - all they could yell was..
"Where are the reinforcemints"
I’m the kind of guy that would yell “Language” whenever anyone curses. My friend yelled out the F-bomb. I said “Language.” She then flipped me off.
What do the English yell before peeing on thier enemies?
What did the lumberjack yell when the tree bent but didn't fall?
A college professor asks all of his students to brainstorm and yell out different kinds of stereotypes.
"All blonde girls are dumb!" yells a boy in the back.
"Sony!" yells the blonde girl in the front.
Mum: (yells at dad) - Why is there a bloody tennis racquet on the kitchen table??
Dad: Relax love it's serving lunch.
My mom would always yell at me for fibbin' to her
She'd walk into my room and I'd just look at her and say "0 1 1 2 3 5 8 13 21"
Anytime I tell a terrible joke to my kids, I walk away from them and yell it from across the room.
If they groan, I say, “I think I took this joke too far.”
Wife yells from kitchen: Babe, we're almost out of trash bags...
I yelled back: Well why do you keep throwing them away?
I got a very stern look.
What do you call it when an angry man yells about mixing Gatorade with espresso
Pavlov is sitting at the bar, drinking a beer, when suddenly the phone rings. “Oh shit!” he yells, jumping off the stool.
“I forgot to feed the dog!”
Why couldn’t the banana yell high?
What does a Syrian cheese monger yell all day?
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked
now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald Duck!"
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
The secret service aren’t allowed to yell “GET DOWN” anymore if the president is about to be attacked.
Instead they say, “DONALD, Duck!”
Edgar Allan Poe is about to run into a tree. What do you yell at him?
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell “Donald duck”!
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
The secret service doesn’t yell “Get down!” anymore when the President is about to be attacked.
They now yell “Donald, Duck!”
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
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