During the delivery of my first child, my wife kept yelling out ‘can’t’, ‘won’t’, ‘shouldn’t’, ‘couldn’t’.
The mid wife told me not to worry, they were only contractions
My wife keeps yelling at me for only eating German sausages
I mean, what is the wurst that can happen?
My dad attacked me with a vacuum cleaner today, yelling.....
I saw my wife slightly drunk yelling at the TV saying “don’t go in there you idiot”
She was watching our wedding video again.
A nagging wife yelling at her husband "I would rather married Satan than marrying you"
Husband, "legally a brother and sister can't get married"
Every morning, my neighbour gets on his tractor and starts yelling, “Repent! The End is nigh!”
I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.
I started taking our taco ingredients to make nachos on my plate when my kids started yelling "BUT IT'S TACO TUESDAY!"
To which I replied "This is nacho average Taco Tuesday"
Why was the coach yelling at a vending machine?
He wanted his quarter back.
Heard a guy swimming yelling “HELP, SHARK, HELP!!!”
And i just kept laughing because i knew that shark wasn’t going to help
A player asked why I shut down the soccer game suddenly when his mother started cussing and yelling...
I replied, "ask your mom. The reason is a parent."
I walked in on my wife yelling that she hated low lying clouds...
I hadn’t the foggiest idea what I mist.
My cousin got into a car accident and lost his entire left side, he kept saying he was all right but I didnt believe him so he just kept yelling at me.
'Stuff was completely one-sided
My wife was yelling at me because I keep making jokes about cheese
I told her she was acting like a Munster
I woke up this morning and saw a bird of prey in my backyard eating avocado toast and yelling “Ok Boomer!”
It was a millennial falcon.
I was yelling really loud into my colander
And I think I strained my voice.
To all the protesters holding up the "I need a haircut" signs, we should all be yelling...
Yesterday, I ran into a Hollywood celebrity, who kept yelling , “I piy the fool!”
I said, “Hey, you missed a T.”
Whenever I’m yelling at my kids, I take out my transparent megaphone.
So that they can hear me loud and clear.
A guy in a tracker just drive past me yelling "the end of the world is nigh!"
Went for a walk with my son and we saw a man on the side of the road yelling and swearing at his car. My son asked me what I thought the problem was...
I told him it was the car berater.
My wife started yelling at me about how I have no sense of direction
So I just packed up my stuff and right
I once heard an angry plumber yelling on his phone.
He was being an absolute pottymouth.
I stubbed my toe and got scolded by my parents for yelling “What the duck”
They were angry that I used fowl language
As a doctor, I've lost all my clients for yelling at them for being late
It's true: I have no patients
My coworker keeps yelling about the tray of leftovers in the staff fridge stinking up the break room...
I finally snapped and told him to just put a lid on it
A man suspected his wife was hard of hearing so he decided to do an experiment. The man snuck up behind his wife and said, “Honey, can you hear me?” No response. He went a little closer and said a little louder, “Honey, can you hear me?” Still no response. So he went right beside her ear, yelling,
“Honey, can you hear me!?” She turned around and shouted, “For the third time, yes I can hear you!”
My girlfriend was always yelling at me because I was getting my directions mixed up.
So I packed my bags and right left away.
My dad asked me to turn on the water heater. To which I replied “It’s on”. Only to see my dad run across the kitchen yelling “It’s on okay bring it no holding back!”
Near the end of my wife's pregnancy she suddenly began yelling out "can't!", "won't!", "shan't!", "mustn't!", and suddenly it dawned on me..
I think she's having contractions!
My dad drinks too much at parties and starts yelling racial epithets and my mom rushes to get him to go home...
She knows it's time to leave when he starts slurring his words.
Priam, the mythological ruler of Troy, was infamous for yelling at his subjects until he lost his voice
Perhaps that's why they called him the hoarse Trojan.
I was walking by the dump and heard voices yelling at each other,
My pregnant wife keeps yelling, “Never say Never” in her sleep.
I think she’s having contradictions.
I was attending a noisy legal hearing, and the Judge started yelling, “Order! Order in the courtroom!”
So I said, “A pastrami on rye, please.”
As my wife was giving birth, all the doctors and nurses started yelling, “Push! Push!”
I was convinced it was a Pull door.
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV
'Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!' She was watching our wedding video again."
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: 'Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!'
She was watching our wedding video again.
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”
She is watching our wedding video again.
A bloke on a tractor has just driven past me yelling "the end of the world nigh!"
I think it was Farmer Geddon.
As a doctor, I've lost all my clients for yelling at them for being late
It's true: I have no patients.
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”
She is watching our wedding video again.
Every morning, my neighbor gets on his tractor and starts yelling, “The End is nigh!”
I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.
Last night, my neighbor got on his tractor and started yelling, “The end is near!!”
I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
I saw my wife slightly drunk, yelling at the T. V "Don't go in the there, don't you go into that church you idiot!"
She was watching our wedding video again
Every morning, my neighbour gets on his tractor and starts yelling, “The End is Nigh!”
I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.
Every morning, my neighbor gets on his tractor and starts yelling, “The End is Near!”
I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.
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