A list of puns related to "Witch doctor"
Nothing, his lips were sealed.
Because theyβre always exorcising.
With a Black-Magic marker.
Tom Baker.
"No, the regular kind!" I laughed.
Witch 1: "What's wrong"
Witch 2: "The doctor says I can't have kids"
Witch 1: "Now, now, food allergies aren't the end of the world"
WORKING ON A JOB
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned I just couldnβt concentrate. . Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldnβt hack it, so they gave me the axe. . After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasnβt suited for it. The job was only so-so anyhow. . Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting. . I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldnβt cut it. . I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldnβt cut the mustard. . My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasnβt note worthy. . I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didnβt have any patience. . Next was a job in a shoe factory; but it just wasnβt the right fit. . I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldnβt live on my net income. . I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell. . I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. . After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it. . My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit, because it was always the same old grind.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itβs a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itβs tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donβt think itβs feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Thereβs a new type of broom out, itβs sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels canβt tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itβs pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldnβt control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn
... keep reading on reddit β‘And I want my wife to come along. So I've been looking for one of those psychics to help us out. But my wife hates them β she says they're all to dark and spooky.
I came across a guy who does seances, but he's not your typical creepy witch doctor type. His place is bright and cheery, and he himself is a very friendly and likeable guy.
I think we finally found a happy medium.
I go to the check-out counter. The lady asks, "which doctor did you see?"
I said, "oh no, I didn't see a witch doctor, I saw Dr. Smith."
Way back when I was a kid, for my school's Renaissance Faire-esque fundraiser, I went around wearing a sign that read "Vilage Idiot". When guests asked why, I'd reply, "I wasn't always the village idiot...
...And so now, here I am: village idiot, just like my father was. Ah... my father, he was the best village idiot we ever had. It's hard living in his shadow sometimes. You see, my father was a complete idiot! ...I'm just a half-wit.β
Dad : βNo, the regular kind.β
"Which doctor?" she asked.
"No, the regular kind."
Dad: "No the regular kind."
"Which doctor?" she replied.
"No, the regular kind."
I added, β...So you went to a witch doctor and ever since youβve been a little horse.β
So I go into the dr. office, tell the receptionist my name and say "I have an appointment with the doctor."
She says "Which doctor?"
I say "No, just a regular one..."
Get it? Witch Doctor...
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