"Wisdom" Puns/Pick-up lines

so im talking to this guy and his name is wisdom. Im horrible at coming up with puns/pick up lines and Im trying to think of a funny one but I cant. help.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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One word of wisdom my father gave me about trading countertops:

Never take quartz for granite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/43eyes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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Wisdom
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueDisciple
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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I always wanted to keep my wisdom teeth but I just went to the dentist and it looks like they're gonna have to be removed

To be honest this is pretty demolarizing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyHandsAreOrange
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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Did you hear about the wisdom tooth who got smart with the dentist?

[removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daydrastik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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My sister asked "When do my wisdom teeth come in?"

"If they haven't yet, its probably because Amazon shipping has been delayed." I said.

As she was laughing, I shrugged. "I thought that was a good one. I just came to me," I paused, "Probably because I have Prime."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brosengr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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What do you call a senior-ranked military officer who offers nuggets of factual wisdom?

The Colonel of Truth

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CopsaLau
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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My wife decided to keep her wisdom teeth..

Doesn't sound very wise to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyDumbHumor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Words of wisdom.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DueTry9
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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Words of wisdom
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πŸ‘€︎ u/duckectomy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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In Greek mythology, Chiron was half man, half horse. He had knowledge and wisdom in medicine.

You could say he was the centaur for disease control

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jxwtf585
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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Words of wisdom

Intelligence is knowing tomatoes are fruits but wisdom is not putting them in a fruit salad

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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A friend of mine just got her wisdom teeth taken out but still wants to go to a party tonight
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πŸ‘€︎ u/j1mmyb01
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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Words of wisdom
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imharddy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I'm no longer wise but I'm very hole-y.

Because I'm full of holes and everything hurts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ktmp93
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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Water bottle wisdom imgur.com/7qMxKbA
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πŸ‘€︎ u/summerrane
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2017
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Stop me if you’ve heard this one about wisdom teeth.

[removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coot32
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
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Stairs of Wisdom [OC]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pununciation
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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I got my wisdom teeth removed today, and my dad asks me β€œdoes your face hurt?”

β€œCause it’s killing me!”

Love him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berkeliyum
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
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My son was complaining about his wisdom teeth hurting.

I told him "That's why they are called 'wisdom' teeth:because they smart!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imnotlouise
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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Dad got me with a bit of wisdom: No matter how much you try to push the envelope...

...it'll always be stationery.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CandysaurusRex
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2016
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Words of fatherly wisdom

If you get in a kickboxing match with a lawnmower, you will be defeeted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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On my sister getting Wisdom Teeth pulled..

Dad: We have to go pick up your sister's medication on the way too.

Me: Medication? What happened to her?

Dad: She got her 2 bottom wisdom teeth removed yesterday.

Me: Ohhh alright.. Wait. Why only 2?

Dad: They didn't want to make her too stupid! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: ....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Terriermon-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2013
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I got my wisdom teeth out

"Hey son, do you miss your wisdom teeth?"

"No, why would I?"

"I don't know, you just seemed pretty attached to them."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StringJohnson
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2016
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πŸ‘€︎ u/raijouh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2013
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A chef was invited to the white house to cook breakfast for the president. Before he started though, he was given some words of wisdom by the president himself....

"Break an egg"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmansbufny
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2017
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Oh sausage, share your wisdom! imgur.com/nm9upv8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MixedMetafive
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2015
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My sister got her wisdom teeth out and I took care of her while my parents were at work.

Felt like a dad when she asked for a milkshake and I walked in with a gallon of milk and said "how shaken do you want it?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/identitycrisis1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2013
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My Dad and I were driving home from my wisdom teeth surgery.

Me: "Do we have any apple sauce?"
Dad: "Yeah."
Me: "Sweet."
Dad: "No, it's the unsweetened kind."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asemikey
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
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Dads shit-wisdom

A few months ago we took a road trip to the more northern part of Washington, Friday Harbor. On our way, my father decided he needed to the bathroom. To which he said to momentarily our silent car. " I have to take a shit, can we hit the next rest stop?" (Everyone agrees as normal. Then about 45 seconds, to a minute later dad says this) "I don't get it, why is it called taking a shit? I'm leaving one!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShellyMarsh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2013
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Talking about my wisdom teeth removal, dad busts this out

"A know it all patient is trying to tell the surgeon how to do everything. The surgeon throws up his hands and says 'Suture yourself!'"

(Suit yourself)

Cue eye rolling from me and my mom...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mlh4
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2014
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Dad joke makers I seek your wisdom: String family joke work in progress

I have a good punch line but haven't been able to design a satisfying lead in for it:

Do you know why the string family decided to break up?

...

Apparently not (A parent-ly knot)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/picturepack
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2014
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Wisdom teeth

Got my top two wisdom teeth taken out. I came home and my dad asked me when I was getting the bottom two taken out. I told him I didn't have to because I don't have my bottom two. He just goes "Well that's strange, I guess you are not really that smart."

Thanks Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leoto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2013
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My grandfather in all his wisdom

Him: "Have you ever seen those birds that fly in a V shape?"

Us: "Yeah."

Him: "Have you ever noticed that one side is usually longer than the other?"

Us: "Yeah."

Him: "Do you know why that is?"

Us: "Why?"

Him: "There's more birds on that side..."

collective facepalm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Relyk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
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