Bill Gates meets Arnold Schwarzenneger at a party and asks him if he's upgraded to Windows 10 yet? Big Arnie replies.......
"Ah still love Vista Baby....."
You should be careful when you have a window of opportunity.
They're a pane to replace
Bill and Melinda Gates got divorced. Melinda got the house...
But Bill kept the Windows
I used to wonder why microsoft skipped windows 9
But I shouldn't be surprised.
After all, years back, Microsoft published ms-DOS without ever releasing an ms-UNO
The other day I asked my dad why he chose window cleaning as a profession
He told me it was the only job he could see himself doing
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
What did Donatello and Raphael throw out their office window?
The shredder. They fought with it too much.
This pun is so painful maybe that's why it's on a window pane
My bedroom now has a stained glass window.
A pigeon just flew right into it.
My wife got mad at me when I spilled wine on the window
Watching my kid throw my brand new phone out the window is the last thing I wanted to see today...
How do you soundproof windows?
You give them the silent treatment
I looked out of the window and my dad was slumped over the lawnmower
crying his eyes out. I said to my mum "what's up with him?"
She said "he's just going through a rough patch".
Why did Karen press CTRL + ALT +DEL?
She wanted the task manager
My donkey keeps eating the glass out of my window.
It’s a real pane in the ass.
Help! Accidentally uninstalled Windows!
Now that I’m officially a dad I have my first good joke. Me and my wife are driving down the road and a bug splats the window.
I turn to her and say “I bet he don’t have the guts to do that again”
Edit: holy shit y’all this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy
Why did the old man throw his clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly!
What do you call 2 guys tied up and stuck in a window?
Why are windows bad quiz masters?
They always reveal the answer
Window installer
Never get in a fight with a window installer
They'll bring the pane!
I heard Bill and Melinda Gates are getting divorced.
Apparently he refused to ever empty the recycle bin.
Was driving by the prison the other night when I saw a midget climbing down from a window.
I said to myself, that’s a little condescending
I can't recycle a broken window with regular glass bottles in my town.
Why do astronauts use linux?
because you can't open windows in space.
A Russian named Rudolph looked out of his window one day and told his wife not to go out without an umbrella. His wife asked ”What makes you say that”?
He replied ”Rudolph the red knows rain dear”.
As the cop knocked on my door, I just stayed in complete silence. He then knocked again. Determined not to give myself away, I just stayed still.
Cop: "Do you think I am stupid ? I can see you through the window."
Mee: "You are not coming in."
Cop: "I don't want to come in. I want you to step out of your car !!"
Why don't people like replacing the glass in windows?
Someone threw a piece of a brick through my window last night
The police aren’t helping because there isn’t enough concrete evidence.
Climbing through my window on the first floor was easy. But if it was the second floor,
That'd be a different story all together.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mineshaft?
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
If you have ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly
Because communication is key
Edit: it's from here, so please give the op credit
Thanks, localization team
Did you hear about the guy who was stealing people's window panes?
Apparently it was panes taking work.
When the local carpenter was asked what it was like when he fell through a window?
He said,” All I felt was pane.”
I went to a microbrewery and a soft serve ice cream store the other day.
I threw some pills and accidentally broke one of my windows.
I didn’t realize they were pane killers.
A man is impaled on a shard of broken window
“I can’t imagine the pane you must be going through”
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?”
I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
When French people make bread, they throw the dough at the window to see if it's ready to bake
I guess that's why they call it window pain.
Melinda was going to sue Bill for not giving her the amount of money she wan entitled to
So Bill said: "A lawsuit? For real? You know I always windows"
A viking named Rudolph The Red was looking out his window one day
"Its going to rain soon" he said to his wife.
"How could you possibly know that?" She asked.
He simply replied,
"Because Rudolph The Red knows rain, dear."
Why do astronauts use linux?
Because they can't open windows
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