Someone robbed a Windex factory the other night.

Police are looking into it, but it looks like the crooks made a clean getaway.

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👤︎ u/Naitraen
📅︎ Jul 08 2020
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I'm so bored, i was about to run around the house naked. But then i drank a bottle of windex...

It stopped me from streaking.

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👤︎ u/manda00710
📅︎ May 12 2020
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My dad, to me: "If you ever decide to run around naked on a drunken night, always bring Windex with you."

I asked him what he meant by that.

He said "It prevents you from streaking."

I have to admit I actually genuinely laughed at that one.

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👤︎ u/irbinator
📅︎ Oct 08 2017
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I clean my toilet with Windex...

...i already know you see threw my shit.

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👤︎ u/hellABunk
📅︎ Jul 04 2018
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Windex is very transparent on its clothing policy.

No streakers are allowed.

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👤︎ u/Target359
📅︎ May 23 2018
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I like to drink Windex

It keeps me from streaking

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📅︎ Apr 20 2018
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Microsoft reeeeally missed an opportunity when they didn't call their antivirus "Windows Cleaner"

...just sayin

👍︎ 2k
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📅︎ Jul 04 2014
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Sudden Urge to get Naked

(x-post from /r/TalesFromRetail)
[was told I should post it here as well]

This happened shortly after I started back to work in retail.

My grocery shift had just started and I was about to begin facing one end of an aisle when I spotted a man in his mid to late 30s at the other end of the aisle. We made eye contact and he made a beeline straight for me.

Me: "Hi. How are you today?"
Him: "Do you know what to do if you get a sudden urge to strip off all your clothes and run around naked in public?"

Now, at this moment, I'm not sure what's happening. I can't pick up any clues from his body language that would indicate where this conversation is going to go. I'm a wee bit concerned that this man is about to start taking off his clothes in front of me. Not exactly what I had planned for the day. He's staring at me intently, waiting for a reply. I don't want to spook him, so I do the only thing I can think of and that's just to stand there and stare at him silently.

After a few seconds, he says to me "Just spray yourself down with Windex. It prevents streaking. Have a nice day!"

He grins and walks away. I started laughing (a little too hysterically ... mostly because of relief).

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📅︎ May 03 2014
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State of Purchase.

Last week my girlfriend sent me a snap of some chocolate she bought with the caption "solid purchase!"

I immediately replied with a picture of some windex with the caption "liquid purchase!"

She was not impressed.

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📅︎ Apr 16 2015
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My co-worker dadjokes me every day. Here's a few of his finer ones.

I started working at a jewelry store two weeks ago. I just turned 24, and one of my new co-workers is about 50 years old and repairs jewelry that customers bring. He is a master of dad jokes.

  1. One day, I was windexing our glass displays.

Him: I recently started getting the urge to take my clothes off and run around all over the place. My buddy told me to try drinking Windex. It prevents streaking.

  1. Another time, it was almost closing time and we were getting bored.

Him: A man was walking his Great Dane and saw a pub. He said, "I'll go have me a drink or two," and tied the dog up outside.

A little while later another man comes in the pub and says, "Sir, is that your Great Dane out there? My dog just killed it."

"What kind of dog do you have?!"

"Chihuahua."

"You're telling me a chihuahua killed my dog?"

"Yea, he got stuck about right here." grabbing his throat

  1. Lastly, we were bored yet again at the end of another day, and he came up to me and another worker and says, "Did one of you lose a big wad of twenty dollar bills wrapped in a rubber band?"

We looked at one another confused. "... No."

"Oh, because I had some good news... I found the rubber band." holding up a runner band

I like my new job.

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👤︎ u/amdawson
📅︎ Aug 18 2014
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I like to drink Windex

It keeps me from streaking

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📅︎ Feb 14 2018
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I drink windex occasionally.

It keeps me from streaking.

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👤︎ u/kornykory
📅︎ Dec 27 2016
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