Willy Wonka's everlasting jobstopper.
What did Mr. Willy, a man who served his country, say to Mr. Rubber?
.
.
.
"Cover me, I'm going in!"
Mine would just say "I'm glad you enjoyed my free Willy and we had a whale of a time, but we need to sea otter whales."
You've heard of Wooly Willy, now get ready for...
Free Willy
My 9 year old daughter upon seeing the movie Free Willy available on Netflix: Dad, what's Free Willy about?
Me: Freeing Willy
The look she gave me about made me want to to die hahaha.
What does Willy Wonka use to keep his factory clean?
Willy Wonka's chocolate factory has been closing early a lot lately.
Maybe they're short staffed.
A Willy walks up to a wishing well...
...He leans into it and says, "I said Pianist! PIANIST!"
I had that awkward, "How come your willy is so much bigger than mine?" conversation with my son in the bathroom this morning...
He said, "I don't know, dad, I'm only three!"
My Dad sent me this text out of the blue...I'm still not sure why he was watching Willy Wonka though.
"I was watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and it gave me a craving for a chocolate bar so I went and bought one. This is probably why I should stop watching Breaking Bad."
What do you do to a dead Willy Wonka?
"We can't just let people dump oil on the sides of hills willy nilly!"
Beginning of a Slippery Slope argument.
I gave my girlfriend a wet willy
She got annoyed, so I asked "what's wrong? Are you ear-itated?"
Got a vocal laugh, and was promptly told that it wasn't funny.
What kind of dog did Willy Wonka have?
Today's label making craft was inspired by the OG spicy boi himself, Bruce Willis.
I can't stop thinking about Bruce willis movies. I guess old habits
Have you heard the news? Willie Nelson died this morning.
He was playing on the road again.
Tragic news! Bruce Willis has died while on viagra medication.
Willie Nelson got hit by a car
He was playing on the road again
What do you call a whale who rejects deterministic philosophy?
The other day I had a friend ask me what I thought about Bruce Willis
Told him I'm a Die Hard fan
Stayed in a hotel with a gay ghost last night
It really put the willy's up me....
Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg have decided to record an album together.
Incase you were wondering what Willie Nelson's full name REALLY is,
It's "Willie Nilly Nelson"
Did you hear about that famous chocolate factory owner who suffered from a penis accident?
He's known as Willy Wonky.
What would Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg do if they met?
Bruce Willis unfortunately passed away this morning.
Due to it being in the morning, he died hard.
My friend is elated that Bruce Willis is coming to his college to give a talk...
Do you know why Bruce Willis is a hobbit?
Because old hobbits die hard.
Willis Carrier invented air conditioning....
I come up with a really lame two word gay joke the other day that i was afraid my gay mate might find offensive
Do you think Bruce Willis will always make action movies?
Because you know what they say about old habits. They...
What did Bruce Willis say when he saw an asteroid heading for earth?
My wife told me to stop making references to Bruce Willis films
I told her, “Sorry babe, old habits Die Hard.”
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
Willie Itule Produce, Yeah I’d Only Hope Around my Produce.
Willie Lump Lump and the Mongoose
Many years ago, Red Skelton told the following joke using his inebriate character, Willie Lump Lump.
Willie explained to the young lady, “I keep a mongoose in my coat pocket. That way, when I go home after drinking, and there are snakes all over the lawn of my yard, I let the mongoose loose and he kills them all, so it’s safe for me to enter the house.”
The young woman sadly tried to explain, “I’ve got news for you, Mr. Lump Lump, those snakes are imaginary!”
Willie Lump Lump replied, “I’ve got news for you, so is the mongoose!”
http://red-skelton.info/articles/jokes/willie-lump-lump-and-the-mongoose/
I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted.
The fifth one was dead sirius.
When God was handing out brains
I thought he said trains and I missed mine
When he was handing out noses
I thought he said roses so I asked for a big red one
and he gave it me too
When he was handing out willies
I thought he said chillies
So I asked for a small hot one
Please add more below.......................
Willie Nelson got into a terrible accident, but thankfully is ok.
He got high and was playing On the road Again..
If Bruce Willis was a tree he would be named Spruce Willis
Did ya hear? Willie Nelson died.
He was playing on the road again.
People asked me to stop naming Bruce Willis movies...
But you know what they say, old habits pulp fiction.
Bruce Willis will probably keep making action movies, because you know what they say about old habits...
Did you see Bruce Willis overdosed on Viagra?
Bruce Willis will probably star in action movies for the rest of his career.
You know what they say about old habits...
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